gossip girl 12 终结- 第18部分

“To　us；”　Vanessa　repeated　absently。　Her　mind　was　far　away；　trying　to　piece　together　the　events　of　her　eighteenth　birthday　party。　The　night　had　begun　as　just　a　few　friends　ing　over；　but　had　morphed　into　an　all…night　rager；　the　one　and　only　she’d　ever　thrown。　She　plunked　down　on　one　of　the　metal　stools　surrounding　the　granite　kitchen　island　and　furrowed　her　brow。　“The　Raves　were　obsessed　with　Serena　van　der　Woodsen。　And　Dan　was　writing　their　lyrics　and　serving　as　front　man。　Or　he　was；　until　he　threw　up　all　over　himself　onstage。”　Vanessa　giggled　at　the　memory。　It　had　gone　down　in　history　as　an　anecdote　she　or　Jenny　would　always　bring　up　to　annoy　Dan。

“Wait；　the　Raves　were　at　your　party　to　hook　up　with　that　actress　from　Coffee　at　the　Palace？”　Hollis　asked；　ignoring　Vanessa’s　reference　to　her　ex。

Hollis　sat　down　across　from　her　at　the　counter　and　ran　a　hand　through　his　jet…black　hair。　His　gray　eyes　were　smiling。　“You；　Ms。　Abrams；　are　full　of　surprises。　You　told　me　you　were　the　girl　with　a　shaved　head　and　no　friends　in　high　school。　Now；　I　hear　you　were　partying　with　Serena　van　der　Woodsen；　getting　the　Raves　to　perform　at　your　birthday…　and　you　say　I’m　the　one　who　sold　out　by　working　with　a　distribution　pany？”　He　laughed。

“No。”　Vanessa　shook　her　head　and　polished　off　the　rest　of　her　champagne。　The　tiny　bubbles　tickled　her　throat。　Saying　it　out　loud　made　everything　sound　so　fun　and　carefree；　but　it　had　never　really　been　like　that。　She’d　been　pletely　out　of　place　at　school；　all　the　prim　and　proper　Constance　Billard　girls　had　made　fun　of　her　Doc　Martens　and　shaved　head。　Now；　her　straight；　shiny　black　hair　fell　in　a　curtain　to　her　shoulders；　she　occasionally　wore　black　mascara　and　a　smudge　of　lip　gloss；　and　she　had　a　wardrobe　of　skinny　jeans；　form…fitting　sweaters；　and　colorful　tops　to　offset　her　black　skirts；　pants；　and　hoodies。　She　would’ve　had　a　much　easier　time　of　it　at　Constance　if　she　looked　then　the　way　she　did　now。　But　even　if　she　could　go　back　in　time　and　change　things；　she　wouldn’t。　Her　experience　as　an　outsider　had　made　her　who　she　was。　It　had　given　her　the　sharp　point　of　view　that　led　her　to　bee　a　filmmaker。

“Most　of　the　time；　it　was　really　hard。　I　mean；　I　was　fifteen　when　I　moved　here　to　live　with　my　sister。　Ruby　was　out　a　lot　with　the　band；　but　she　had　a　bird　named　Tofu　and　seriously；　sometimes　he　was　the　only　living　thing　I　spoke　to　all　day。”　She　sighed。　“One　time　we　had　this　weird　roommate；　Tiphany；　who　moved　in　with　a　ferret　named　Tooter…　and　then　there　was　the　time　that　I　got　kicked　out　by　Piotr；　my　sister’s　husband；”　Vanessa　babbled。　Once　she　started　talking　about　some　of　the　crazier　things　that　happened　during　her　high　school　career；　it　was　hard　to　stop；　especially　since　Hollis　was　staring　at　her　with　such　intensity。

“Wait。”　He　grabbed　her　hand　and　stared　deep　in　her　eyes。　“How　e　I’ve　never　heard　any　of　these　stories？”

Vanessa　shrugged。　“It’s　not　that　interesting。”　She’d　never　really　talked　about　her　past　before。　Not　because　she　thought　Hollis　wouldn’t　care；　but　because　so　much　of　her　past　involved　Dan。　It　was　kind　of　awkward。

You　think？

“No；　it’s　great。　Girl　moves　to　Brooklyn　and　everything　goes　so　wrong；　it’s　right。　The　ferret’s　name　was　Tooter？　You　can’t　make　that　shit　up；”　Hollis　laughed。　“It’d　be　a　great　movie。　It’s　gritty　and　raw　and　funny　as　hell。　It　makes　me　want　to　know　more。　I　want　to　see　it！　I　want　to　see　it　all！”　Hollis　began　pacing　back　and　forth　in　the　kitchen；　the　way　he　always　did　when　he　was　trying　to　work　out　the　logistics　of　an　idea。

“Are　you　going　to　make　a　movie　about　my　life？”　Vanessa　teased；　refilling　both　of　their　champagne　glasses。

“No。”　Hollis　took　the　glass　and　cocked　it　toward　Vanessa。　“We　are。”

Vanessa　shook　her　head。　Her　life　wasn’t　a　movie！　It　was　just…　her　life。　Tragic　and　absurd；　she　thought　randomly。　Dan　had　probably　said　that。　But　maybe　that　was　the　point。　Her　life…—her　high　school　life；　anyway…—had　been　tragic　and　absurd；　but　she’d　gotten　past　it　and　was　now　happy　and　in　love。　She　thought　of　her　high　school　self。　Shaven…headed；　self…righteous　Vanessa　would　have　scoffed　at　a　film　about　a　na？ve　Vermont　girl　who　learns　to　tell　people　to　go　fuck　themselves。　No。　Actually　she　would　have　loved　it。

“Let’s　do　it。”　Vanessa　drained　her　champagne　glass；　slipped　off　her　stool；　and　hugged　Hollis　hard。

“We　can　start　tonight；”　Hollis　murmured　into　her　now…shoulder…length　black　hair。

Vanessa　grinned　and　kissed　him　softly　on　the　lips。　“I　have　another　idea　for　tonight；”　she　said　boldly；　looking　him　straight　in　the　eye。

This　particular　film　will　go　unrated。

everyone　loves　a　reunion

“Serena　van　der　Woodsen’s　here；”　Laura　Salmon　whispered　to　Rain　Hoffstetter。　Isabel　Coates　nodded。　They　were　perched　on　one　of　the　low…slung　black　leather　couches　in　the　Bass　suite　at　the　Tribeca　Star。　The　expansive　space　was　decked　with　plain　white　Christmas　lights；　and　large　plate　glass　windows　led　to　the　terrace　overlooking　the　shining　lights　of　the　city　below。　Laura　had　gained　ten　pounds　for　each　semester　at　Wellesley　and　was　now　squeezed　into　a　stretchy　black　Narciso　Rodriguez　dress。　She　looked　exactly　like　her　mother。

“I　heard　she　got　married　to　Breckin　O’Dell。　It’s　still　super　secret；　though；”　Rain　whispered　back；　taking　a　long　swig　of　her　vodka　tonic。　Her　hair　was　pulled　into　a　messy　chignon；　revealing　a　slightly　off…center　infinity　symbol　tattooed　on　the　back　of　her　neck。　It　looked　like　she’d　drawn　it　on　herself　with　an　eyeliner　pencil。

“I　heard　she’s　pregnant。　She’s　due　in　June。　Her　agent　wanted　her　to　have　an　abortion；”　Isabel　Coates　chimed　in；　straightening　the　hem　of　her　black　satin　Marc　by　Marc　Jacobs　dress。

“Guys！”　Serena　called；　pleased　to　recognize　some　of　her　old　classmates　huddled　on　the　black　low…slung　couch　in　the　corner。　She’d　been　close　to　staying　in　tonight；　tempted　by　the　idea　of　ordering　an　extra…large　pepperoni　pizza　and　watching　movies　in　her　one…bedroom　apartment　on　Perry　Street。　But　she’d　surprised　herself　by　ing　to　Chuck’s　party　at　the　last　minute。

It　was　already　after　eleven；　and　the　suite　was　filled　with　guys　in　khakis　and　wrinkled　button…downs　and　girls　in　tight　dresses　or　bikinis。　Everyone　looked　like　they　were　trying　to　look　fifteen　years　old。

You　never　can　go　back。

“How　are　you？”　Serena　exclaimed　eagerly　as　she　plopped　on　the　couch　next　to　Isabel。　“How’s　Casey？”　she　asked；　remembering　the　name　of　Isabel’s　lesbian　lover　from　last　year。

“Oh。”　Isabel　turned　bright　red。　“I　have　no　idea。　I’m　actually　dating　this　guy　named　Chad；”　she　announced　as　she　pretended　not　to　stare　jealously　at　Serena’s　legs。　Serena　was　wearing　a　denim　miniskirt　she’d　fashioned　out　of　a　pair　of　ancient　Sevens　and　an　extra…large　Marc　by　Marc　Jacobs　sweater。　On　anyone　else；　the　outfit　would　have　looked　sloppy。　On　Serena；　it　looked　stunning。

Of　course。

“How　are　you？”　Laura　cooed；　as　if　she　hadn’t　been　gossiping　about　her　just　moments　before。　She　grabbed　Serena’s　long　blond　hair　and　bed　her　manicured　fingernails　through　it　enviously。　“Are　these　extensions？”

“No。　Love　your　hair　though。　It’s　such　a　pretty　shade　of　red；”　Serena　lied。　Laura’s　normally　brown　hair　had　been　dyed　an　unnatural　Hawaiian　Punch　color。　“I　haven’t　been　to　a　salon　in　forever。”

“Are　you　working　on　a　movie？”　Rain　asked；　wrinkling　her　ski…jump　nose；　which　now　had　a　small　scar　from　where　her　nose　piercing　had　been。

“No。　I’m　not　sure　I　really　want　to　do　movies　anymore。”　Serena　shrugged。　She　hadn’t　acted　since　Coffee　at　the　Palace；　and　had　decided　to　take　a　break　for　the　foreseeable　future。　The　only　problem　was；　she　wasn’t　sure　what　she　wanted　to　do　now。　Part　of　her　was　thinking　about　going　back　to　school—she　had　only　deferred　from　Yale　and　could　still　go　if　she　wanted　to—but　the　idea　of　sitting　in　a　classroom　seemed　so　confining。　She’d　taken　a　couple　of　acting　classes　at　a　downtown　studio　that　Thad　had　raved　about；　but　they’d　mostly　consisted　of　pantomiming　dreams　from　the　night　before。　No；　thank　you。

Especially　not　when　most　of　her　dreams　involve　a　certain　someone。

“Is　it　because　of　the　reviews？”　Laura　took　a　swig　of　her　cranberry　vodka。

Serena　stiffened　and　suddenly　wished　she’d　made　herself　a　drink　before　she　sat　down　with　her　old　friends。　The　reviews　for　Coffee　at　the　Palace　had　been　less　than　stellar；　though　the　New　York　Times　had　called　Serena　a　breath　of　fresh　air。　But　it　was　conversations　like　this　that　made　Serena　hate　acting。　She　loved　being　in　front　of　the　camera；　but　she　hated　all　the　drama　that　went　on　when　the　cameras　weren’t　rolling。　She　never　set　foot　in　anywhere　trendy；　because　she　hated　getting　followed　by　paparazzi　and　having　her　picture　taken　with　camera　phones。　It　was　so　silly　to　get　that　kind　of　attention　when　she　wasn’t　doing　anything。

“I’ve　been　reading　a　lot　of　Thomas　Mann　lately；”　Serena　said；　changing　the　subject。　“I　just　finished　The　Magic　Mountain。　With　everyone　else　in　school；　I　don’t　want　to　fall　behind；”　she　added。　She　was　greeted　by　silence。

“Well；　what　classes　do　you　guys　take？”　Serena　prodded。　It　had　never　been　hard　for　her　to　make　conversation；　but　now；　among　the　girls　she’d　known　since　kindergarten；　she　had　no　idea　what　to　say。　She　awkwardly　crossed　one　leg　over　the　other。

“I　don’t　even　know；”　Isabel　giggled。　“I　spend　all　my　time　with　my　boyfriend。　I　do　his　Influential　Movies　of　the　’80s　homework　sometimes。　His　football　schedule　is　really　demanding；”　she　explained；　brushing　her　long　dark　hair　off　her　shoulder　self…importantly。

“Oh。”　Serena　didn’t　know　what　else　to　say。　Since　when　did　Isabel　do　someone　else’s　homework？　Serena　used　to　always　beg　to　borrow　Isabel’s　calc　problem　sets。

“I　take　golf；”　Rain　yelled　over　the　awful　Madonna/Britney　remix　that　boomed　through　the　room；　courtesy　of　the　giggling　L’école　sophomores　huddled　around　the　Bose　sound　dock　near　the　bar。　“I’m　pretty　good。”

Serena　nodded。　Were　they　serious？　Was　that　what　college　was　about？　At　Constance；　they’d　all　taken　Latin　and　physics　and　AP　French。　Sure；　they’d　plained　about　it；　but　deep　down；　they　all　knew　it　was　important　to　do　well　in　high　school　so　they’d　get　into　a　good　college　and　succeed　in　life。　But　the　clas