gossip girl 12 终结- 第28部分

“Pete！”　Blair　squeaked。

He　exhaled　loudly；　the　sound　of　his　breath　filling　the　room　and　morphing　into　a　strangled　cry。　He　hurled　the　flowers　to　the　ground　and　an　explosion　of　red　petals　scattered　on　the　thick　blue　carpet。

“I　can　explain；”　Blair　said　in　horror。　She　knew　how　bad　this　looked。　She　knew　there　really　wasn’t　a　logical　explanation。　But　she　needed　Pete　to　know　this　was　a　total　misunderstanding。　“Please　listen；”　Blair　choked　out；　diving　toward　Pete。

“You’re　in　bed　with　that　asshole？”　Pete　asked。　And　then　he　laughed；　one　short；　angry　bark。　“Of　course　you　are。”　He　shook　his　head。

“No；”　she　protested。　She　felt　like　she　was　going　to　throw　up。　This　could　not　be　happening。　Please　believe　me；　she　silently　begged。　“He’s　drunk　and　he　just　found　me。　He　just　came　in　like　two　seconds　ago。　I　thought　he　was　you。”

Pete　shook　his　head　sadly；　as　if　Blair’s　explanation　was　so　ridiculous　he　felt　embarrassed　even　to　be　hearing　it。

“Dude；　sorry；”　Nate　said；　trying　to　stand　up。　He　understood　this　was　bad。　He　didn’t　want　Blair　to　go　back　to　that　other　guy；　but　he　also　didn’t　want　to　hurt　her。　And　now　he　was；　and　it　was　all　so　fucking　confusing。　His　foot　got　caught　in　a　tangle　of　sheets　and　he　face…planted　on　the　floor。

Karma’s　a　bitch。

“You　deserve　each　other；”　Pete　said；　turning　on　his　heel　and　slamming　the　door。　Blair　could　hear　his　footsteps　tromping　down　the　hall。　The　elevator　whooshed　open　and　he　was　gone。　She　turned　and　gazed　down　at　Nate；　pathetically　collapsed　in　a　pile。

“Fuck　you；”　she　whispered；　her　eyes　finally　filling　with　all　the　tears　she’d　held　in　for　the　past　day。　Every　time。　Every　time。　Every　time　she　was　almost　happy；　Nate　managed　to　fuck　it　up。　Even　worse；　every　time　she　managed　to　fall　for　it。

“But　Blair…”　Nate　struggled　to　his　feet。

Suddenly；　she　felt　the　vodka　sodas　from　earlier　swirling　in　her　stomach　and　knew　she　was　going　to　throw　up。　Just　like　always。　She　felt　like　a　confused　and　lonely　fifteen…year…old。　And　it　was　all　Nate’s　fault。

She　ran　into　the　bathroom；　kneeled　down；　and　retched　into　the　toilet　bowl　again　and　again。　When　she　was　finished；　she　leaned　her　forehead　against　the　cool　whiteness　of　the　toilet　seat；　knowing　she　looked　as　pathetic　as　she　felt。

“You　okay？”　she　heard　from　the　other　side　of　the　door。　Nate’s　voice　sounded　whiny；　the　way　it　sometimes　did　when　he　was　really；　really　baked。　That　was　what　gave　her　the　motivation　to　stand　up；　splash　her　face　with　water；　vigorously　brush　her　teeth　with　her　imported　Marvis　toothpaste；　and　emerge　from　the　bathroom。　Nate　was　standing　at　the　door；　his　hands　at　his　sides；　shifting　from　foot　to　foot。

“Blair—”　he　began。

“Get　out！”　Blair　yelled　with　every　force　of　her　being。　“You’re　bad　for　me。　I　never　want　to　see　you　again。”　She　opened　the　door；　her　whole　body　shaking；　but　Nate　just　stood　there。

“Fine；”　she　said。　“If　you　won’t　leave；　I　will。”　And　with　that　she　was　gone。

Sometimes　misery　doesn’t　love　pany。

puppy　love

Vanessa　banged　around　the　kitchen　of　the　loft；　feeling　like　an　angry　housewife。　It　was　almost　ten　o’clock　and　she　hadn’t　heard　from　Hollis　since　she　stormed　out　of　their　pitch　meeting。　No；　scratch　that。　Since　she　stormed　out　of　his　pitch　meeting。　She　pulled　out　a　mug　from　the　cabinet　and　boiled　water　to　make　tea。　She　wasn’t　one　of　those　people　who　drank　when　she　was　upset；　so　organic　chai　would　have　to　do。

The　worst　thing　about　it　was　that　she’d　done　this　to　herself。　She　used　to　be　a　shaven…headed；　black…garbed；　kick…ass　filmmaker　who　always　wore　steel…toe　boots　and　didn’t　put　up　with　shit　from　anyone。　Now　she　was　this　needy　girlfriend　type　without　any　projects　of　her　own；　without　an　apartment　of　her　own；　and　with　no　one　she　could　even　talk　to。　Last　year；　Vanessa　had　spent　practically　every　Friday　night　with　the　other　NYU　film　majors　at　Bushwick　Country　Club；　a　Williamsburg　bar　with　mini　golf。　But　ever　since　she　and　Hollis　had　bee　serious；　it　had　bee　harder　and　harder　to　carve　out　time　to　meet　with　her　old　friends。　She　considered　calling　her　sister；　Ruby；　but　all　she　and　Piotr　could　talk　about　was　whether　the　fetus　was　the　size　of　a　gerbil　or　an　avocado。

She　heard　the　whir　of　the　elevator　and　felt　her　stomach　twist　in　contempt。　What　the　fuck　was　the　point　of　living　in　Brooklyn　if　you　had　an　elevator　leading　straight　to　your　apartment？

“Hey。”　Hollis　sheepishly　walked　into　the　apartment；　holding　a　box　of　Franzia　wine　out　like　a　peace　offering。　In　his　other　hand　was　a　leash—attached　to　a　brown　and　white　puppy。　The　wine　was　an　inside　joke；　since　one　of　their　first　dates　had　been　at　a　tiny　Chinese　restaurant　that　served　free　boxed　wine。

And　the　puppy？

“Celebrating　your　new　deal？”　Vanessa　refused　to　take　the　wine　from　his　hands　or　even　ask　about　the　dog。　She　grabbed　her　mug　of　tea　and　walked　into　their　newly　set…up　corner　office。　One　side　was　hers；　the　other　his。　She　opened　her　MacBook　Pro　and　clicked　onto　the　apartment　listings　on　Craigslist。　She　didn’t　really　want　to　move　or　break　up　with　Hollis；　but　she　didn’t　know　what　else　to　do。

“Don’t　be　mad。”　Hollis　put　his　hands　on　Vanessa’s　shoulders　and　whirled　her　Aeron　chair　around　so　she　faced　him。　His　gray　eyes　were　wide　with　concern；　and　his　chin　had　a　tiny　bit　of　the　five　o’clock　stubble　that　Vanessa　had　always　found　so　sexy。　“I　have　someone　for　you　to　meet。　This　is　Norma　Desmond。　She　sort　of　has　this　diva…ish　personality；　but　I　think　there’s　a　lot　going　on　beneath　the　surface。　She’s　certainly　a　charmer。”　He　scooped　up　the　tiny　puppy　and　waved　its　paw　at　her。

“You　decided　to　get　a　dog。　Any　other　decisions　you　made　today　that　you　didn’t　tell　me　about？”　Vanessa　asked　crisply。　She　gazed　down　at　Norma；　who　was　shaking　her　tiny　butt　uncontrollably。　The　name　was　from　Sunset　Boulevard；　a　film　Vanessa　and　Hollis　both　loved。

“Look；　Vanessa；　I　know　you’re　mad。　I’m　really；　really　sorry　about　the　way　everything　went　down。　I　should　never　have　had　you　pitch　the　film　to　Streetscape。”　Hollis’s　eyes　looked　so　sweet　and　sincere　that　Vanessa　wanted　to　believe　him。

“So　then　why　were　you　going　along　with　them？　Why　didn’t　you　leave　with　me？”　Vanessa　asked　sharply。　She　glanced　down　at　her　beat…up　Doc　Martens　so　she　wouldn’t　have　to　look　at　his　face　when　he　lied。　She　willed　her　boots　not　to　kick　him。

“Because　Streetscape　has　changed。　I　realized　that　when　I　saw　it　was　Stacy　handling　the　meeting。　Stacy　is　under　a　lot　of　pressure　to　make　movies　that　will　sell。　Before；　no　one　knew　who　she　was；　so　she　could　afford　to　take　risks。　Now；　she’s　known　in　Hollywood　and　she’s　scared　shitless。　That’s　why　she　called　that　other　exec　in。　I　know　the　demo　talk　is　bullshit；　but　it’s　the　formula　that　works。　I　mean；　I’m　still　building　my　career　and　they’re　the　best　and　I　trust　them；　but　I　know　they’re　not　the　best　for　you；”　Hollis　explained。　“And　I　just　got　Norma　because　I　felt　so　guilty　and　she’s　so　cute。　She’s　part　chow　and　part　poodle。　She’s　a　choodle；”　Hollis　explained　proudly。　“And　I　wanted　to　see　you　smile。”

The　puppy　was　adorable；　and　Vanessa　fought　a　smile。　She　didn’t　want　to　be　won　over　so　easily。　“Why　did　you　even　set　up　the　meeting？”

“I　got　excited。　I　love　your　story；”　Hollis　said　earnestly。　“But　what　they　want　to　do　isn’t　your　movie。　Once　I　saw　how　off…track　they　were　getting；　I　pushed　them　away　from　your　idea　on　purpose。　I　didn’t　want　you　to　wind　up　making　a　movie　that　would　promise　your　vision。”

“Really？”　Vanessa　grinned　shyly。　Now　that　she　thought　about　it；　Hollis　hadn’t　really　spoken　up　at　the　meeting　until　after　the　story　had　gotten　so　off…track—and　after　Stacy　had　made　it　clear　she　wasn’t　going　to　have　it　any　other　way。

“Of　course。　So　they　want　me　to　direct　the　film。　It’s　on　location—in　Iceland。　And　I’ll　have　to　go　to　Australia　too；　to　cast　the　Maoris。　The　twin　kids　evolved　into　a　whole　family；　like　Cheaper　by　the　Dozen　but　with　Maoris；　in　Iceland。　But　I　told　them　I　needed　to　think　about　it。　I’ll　drop　it　in　a　second　if　you　want　me　to。”　Hollis　gazed　down　at　Vanessa。

Vanessa　glanced　around　the　apartment—the　brand…new　ecochic　furniture；　the　clean；　bare　walls　they　hadn’t　decorated；　the　expansive　living　room　they　planned　to　throw　so　many　dinner　parties　in。　If　Hollis　went　to　Iceland；　it　would　be　a　long　time　before　they　really　lived　in　this　apartment　together。　But　dropping　a　Streetscape　project　was　equivalent　to　career　suicide。

Just　then；　Norma　whined　plaintively。　“Well；　I’m　going　to　take　Norma’s　protest　as　a　no；”　Hollis　shrugged；　scooping　up　the　puppy。

“No。”　Vanessa　shook　her　head　definitively。　They　had　plenty　of　time　to　build　a　life　together。　After　all；　she　was　only　a　sophomore。　“You　need　to　do　it。　I　want　you　to　do　it—we　both　do。”　Vanessa　reached　for　the　puppy　and　buried　her　nose　in　its　soft　and　fluffy　fur。　“How　long　will　you　be　gone？”　she　asked。

“A　few　months。　But　you　can　e　to　Reykjavík　whenever　you　want。　I　mean；　you　need　to。　I　don’t　know　what　I’ll　do　without　you。”

“You’re　not　gone　yet；”　Vanessa　murmured。　It　was　a　lot　to　process。　She　was　sad；　but　not　upset。　Yes；　Hollis　was　leaving；　but　somehow；　their　relationship　seemed　stronger　than　ever—strong　enough　to　stand　the　distance。　And　maybe　a　few　months　apart　would　be　good　for　her；　too。　She　could　concentrate　on　her　own　work。

“Thanks　for　bringing　me　a　friend；”　she　added；　still　cuddling　with　the　puppy。

“I’ll　miss　you　guys；”　Hollis　said　huskily。　He　kissed　Vanessa’s　forehead；　then　the　puppy’s。　“Take　care　of　each　other。　You　two　are　my　family　now。”

Vanessa　smiled。　“Absence　makes　the　heart　grow　fonder；　right？　And　a　few　months　isn’t　too　long；”　she　insisted。

Right。　And　Iceland　isn’t　very　far　away　at　all。

on　some　nights；　frenemies　beat　strangers

“Vodka　tonic；”　Blair　said　brusquely　to　the　Tribeca　Star　bartender；　a　pretty　platinum　blonde　who　looked　like　she’d　never　had　her　heart　broken　before。　Unlike　Blair；　who’d　had　her　heart　broken—five？　Seven？　Nine　times？—by　the　exact　same　guy。

“Another　one？”　The　bartender　arched　one　penciled…in　eyebrow。

“Yes；”　Blair　said　icily。　It　was　her　right　to　get　as　drunk　as　she　wanted　after　the　night　she’d　had。　She　pulled　out　her　cell　and　dialed　Pete’s　number　again。　Of　course　it　went　to　voice　mail。　Tears