gossip girl 12 终结- 第36部分

“I　did　the　invitations　for　that　party！”　Jenny　piped　up　from　the　corner　of　the　table。　As　a　young；　ambitious　freshman；　she’d　wanted　to　be　invited　to　the　party　so　badly　that　she’d　offered　to　use　her　calligraphy　skills　to　address　the　invites。

Dan　stared　down　at　his　plate。　He　had　nothing　to　contribute　to　this　trip　down　memory　lane；　except　that　he　had　rescued　Jenny　from　the　bathroom；　where　she’d　been　cornered　by　a　date…raping　Chuck　at　the　same　party。　But　that　wasn’t　exactly　appropriate　for　the　dinner　table。

You　think？

He　couldn’t　believe　it　had　snowed　all　day　and　they　were　stuck　in　Newport　for　another　night。　All　he　wanted　was　to　be　back　in　his　apartment　with　Serena；　a　cup　of　coffee；　and　a　good　book。

“Oh　my　God；　Blair；　remember　when　we　were　Jenny’s　peer　counselors？”　Serena　laughed。　The　guidance　department　had　chosen　her　and　Blair　to　act　as　role　models　for　some　of　the　younger　Constance　girls。　They’d　been　assigned　a　group　of　freshman　with　whom　they　met　once　a　week　to　discuss　topics　like　peer　pressure；　teen　sex；　and　drinking。　Instead；　they’d　spent　most　of　their　time　talking　about　boys　and　sample　sales。　Serena　shot　a　sidelong　glance　at　Jenny。　She　seemed　to　have　turned　out　okay　anyway。

“We　were　great　role　models。　Unlike　Nate’s　role　model；　L’Wren。”　Blair　smirked；　naming　a　supremely　slutty　University　of　Virginia　freshman　who’d　almost　deflowered　Nate　when　he　was　fifteen。

“Oh　my　God；　L’Wren！　I’d　almost　forgotten　about　her！”　Serena　cried；　clapping　her　hands。

Nate　shook　his　head　ruefully。　In　truth；　he　still　had　a　soft　spot　in　his　heart　for　L’Wren；　the　girl　who’d　taught　him　how　to　smoke　a　bong。

Ah；　memories。

Dan　shifted　unfortably　in　his　seat；　wishing　he　had　more　to　offer　to　the　conversation。　What　would　he　say？　Hey　Chuck；　remember　when　you　locked　me　out　of　a　party？　Nate；　remember　when　you　invited　yourself　on　my　and　Serena’s　college　visiting　tour　senior　year？　“Hey　beautiful；”　he　whispered　to　Serena；　trying　to　pull　her　out　of　this　lame　remember…when　conversation　about　people　he’d　never　met　and　parties　he’d　never　been　invited　to。

“Hey；”　Serena　said　distractedly；　putting　her　hand　on　his　arm　as　if　to　shush　him。　She　leaned　forward　over　the　table；　looking　from　Nate　to　Blair。　“What　I　really　want　to　know　is：　How　did　none　of　us　get　arrested？”

“I　went　to　rehab。”　Nate　shrugged。

“I　followed　you　there；”　Blair　said　in　disbelief。　Had　she　ever　really　been　that　crazy？

Does　she　want　the　long　answer　or　the　short　answer？　Oh　wait；　there　is　no　long　answer。

“And　I　rescued　you！”　Serena　piped　up。　The　three　of　them　collapsed　into　a　fit　of　giggles。

“Okay；　this　officially　enters　‘I　don’t　want　to　know’　territory。　Giles　and　I　will　excuse　ourselves；”　Harold　said　bemusedly；　pushing　his　chair　back　and　beginning　to　clear　the　table。

Dan　sighed；　bored。　Jenny　was　hanging　on　to　every　word；　giggling　like　a　maniac　even　though　she　hadn’t　really　been　a　part　of　any　of　this　either。

“Serena；　remember　the　first　time　we　met？”　Dan　whispered　in　Serena’s　ear。　He　hoped　that　would　be　enough　to　get　her　to　start　paying　attention　to　him。

“Yeah。”　Serena　smiled；　but　she　didn’t　elaborate。　“Oh　my　God；　remember　when　we　lived　in　the　Breakfast　at　Tiffany’s　apartment；　Blair？”

“Remember　the　Raves？”　Jenny　asked；　butting　into　the　conversation。　She　wasn’t　sure　if　it　was　because　she　was　older　or　because　they　were　all　out　of　high　school；　but　suddenly；　all　the　things　that　had　seemed　die…of…embarrassment　awful　when　she　was　fourteen—like　the　time　a　semipornographic　video　of　her　and　Nate　rolling　around　in　the　snow　together　was　leaked　on　the　Internet　or　the　time　she　appeared　in　just　a　bra　in　a　photo　spread　for　a　national　magazine—seemed　almost　funny。　Jenny　felt　vaguely　proud　of　herself　for　surviving　all　that　and　ending　up　here。

“Of　course！　And　our　awesome　photo　shoot　for　W　right　before　graduation？　I　still　get　pliments　on　that。”

Jenny　beamed。　Soon　she’d　be　telling　Serena　she　once　stole　her　jog　bra　from　her　locker。

Dan　stood　up　from　the　table；　needing　a　break。　He　picked　up　the　empty　casserole　dish　and　headed　toward　the　kitchen　after　Harold　and　Giles。　He　paused　when　he　saw　Harold’s　hand　on　the　back　of　Giles’s　neck；　and　made　his　way　back　to　the　table。　He　plunked　down　next　to　Serena　and　drained　the　rest　of　his　wine。　Maybe　he　could　at　least　get　some　good　poetic　inspiration　from　his　misery。

The　grown…up　beauty　queens；　Lipstick　traces　of　glory　faded

In　ghost　hallways；　empty　yearbooks。　Angry。　Jaded。

Or　not。

Serena’s　cheeks　ached　from　laughing　so　hard　and　she　knew　she　was　going　to　be　more　than　a　little　hungover　tomorrow；　but　she　didn’t　want　to　get　up　and　leave　the　party　yet。　Dinner　had　been　over　for　almost　an　hour；　but　everyone　was　still　sitting　around　the　table；　drinking　wine　and　happily　sping　stories。

Almost　everyone。

“Okay；　so　what　do　you　miss　the　most　about　high　school？”　Serena　waved　her　empty　wineglass　around　like　a　Madison　Avenue　divorcée　at　a　ladies…only　luncheon　and　glanced　around　the　table。　Dan　had　been　silent　the　entire　time。　Serena　knew　he　felt　out　of　place。　Even　though　he’d　e　to　a　lot　of　the　parties　they　were　remembering；　he’d　never　really　been　part　of　their　group　of　friends　back　in　high　school。　Still；　that　didn’t　mean　he　had　to　sulk。

Jenny　shrank　lower　in　her　seat；　waiting　for　someone　else　to　answer。　Of　course；　she　was　still　in　high　school；　but　she　didn’t　want　to　call　attention　to　that　fact。

“I　miss　stealing　homework　from　the　smart　kids；”　Chuck　offered　with　a　wry　smile　at　Dan。

“Thanks；”　Dan　said　stiffly。　He　had　supplied　Chuck　with　most　of　his　English　assignments　for　a　year。

“Just　kidding；”　Chuck　laughed。　“Didn’t　I　give　you　an　autographed　picture　one　time　in　exchange？　God；　I　was　a　douche。”　Chuck　shook　his　head。

Blair　shifted　back　in　her　chair。　All　this　talk　about　their　high　school　escapades　had　made　her　feel　restless　and　antsy。　There　were　now　half　a　dozen　empty　champagne　and　wine　bottles　on　the　table。　Outside；　an　almost…full　moon　reflected　on　the　still　falling　snow；　making　the　whole　world　look　magical。　She　didn’t　want　to　sit　across　from　Nate　anymore　or　watch　Jenny　gaze　at　him　with　puppylike　adoration　or　remember　any　of　the　reasons　why　Chuck　was　a　freak　in　high　school。　She　needed　to　get　outside　and　do　something。

Or　someone？

“Let’s　go　sledding；”　Blair　announced；　already　scraping　her　chair　across　the　cherrywood　floors。

“Yay！”　Serena　yelled；　clambering　to　her　feet。

Dan　cringed。　He　hated　snow　in　his　socks　or　in　the　wrists　of　his　jacket　and　the　feel　of　icy　snow　on　his　skin。　He　hated　trudging　through　the　cold　only　to　ride　a　piece　of　plastic　down　a　hill。　Why　walk　up　just　to　slide　down？　But　more　than　anything；　he　was　scared。　When　he　was　ten；　he’d　gone　sledding　with　Zeke；　his　former　best　friend　with　unfortunate　wide　hips；　and　they’d　crashed　into　a　three…hundred…pound　man；　who　toppled　on　top　of　them。　Dan　had　lain　there　on　his　back　with　the　wind　knocked　out　of　him；　thinking　he　was　destined　to　die　under　the　fat　man’s　girth。　He　hadn’t　gotten　on　a　sled　since。

“Let’s　go！”　Serena　needled；　grabbing　Dan’s　hand　and　trying　to　drag　him　to　his　feet。　Blair；　Chuck；　Nate；　and　Jenny　were　already　in　the　mudroom；　searching　through　old　mittens　and　hats　for　things　to　wear。

Dan　shook　his　head。　“I　can’t。”

“Why　not？”　Serena’s　eyes　narrowed。　What　was　Dan’s　problem？　He’d　been　moody　ever　since　they’d　left　Providence。　Serena　had　tried　as　hard　as　she　could　to　include　him　in　the　conversation　tonight；　but　he　wouldn’t　even　try。　Giles　had　talked　more　than　Dan　tonight；　and　not　only　did　Giles　not　know　who　anyone　was；　English　wasn’t　even　his　first　language。

“I　think　I　might　be　getting　sick；”　Dan　lied。　“Besides；　I　thought　we　could　curl　up　in　front　of　the　fire。　You　know；　just　do　something　quiet。　I　think　that　would　make　me　feel　better。”　Lying　on　a　rug　next　to　a　roaring　fire　with　Serena　was　exactly　what　he　needed　to　just　chill　out　from　the　last　twenty…four　hours。

“If　you’re　feeling　sick；　I　don’t　want　to　catch　it；”　she　told　him　coldly。　Then　she　half　ran　to　keep　up　with　the　rest　of　the　group。　“Don’t　leave　without　me；”　she　called　after　them。

Dan　sighed　heavily　as　he　trudged　toward　the　small　library　off　the　main　living　room。　The　fireplace　was　stacked　with　wood；　but　Dan　had　no　idea　how　to　make　a　fire。　The　shelves　were　neatly　organized　by　color—deep　greens；　blues；　and　burgundy；　and　Dan　quickly　realized　they’d　been　purchased　at　the　Strand　through　their　books…by…the…yard　program；　where　you　could　buy　books　based　on　your　house’s　color　scheme　rather　than　their　literary　merit。

Dan　gazed　unhopefully　at　the　musty　maroon　volumes　in　front　of　him。　He　stopped　at　one　thin　volume　with　gold　script　on　the　spine。　It　was　The　Sorrows　of　Young　Werther；　by　Goethe；　about　a　guy’s　unrequited　love　for　a　beautiful　woman。　It　had　been　Dan’s　favorite　book　in　high　school。

Wonder　why。

He　settled　into　a　stiff　red　leather　wingback　chair　under　a　cathedral…like　window　and　flipped　open　to　a　random　page。　It　was　where　the　hero；　Werther；　realizes　he　either　has　to　kill　his　love；　her　husband；　or　himself。　Dan　frowned。　This　probably　wasn’t　the　best　choice　for　tonight。

Instead；　he　pulled　his　cell　phone　out　of　the　pocket　of　his　old　tan　cords。　No　missed　calls。　Of　course。

He　idly　scrolled　through　his　phone　book。　He　didn’t　have　many　numbers　stored—just　some　other　creative　writing　majors　from　college；　his　dad；　Jenny；　and　Serena。　As　he　reached　the　end　of　the　list；　he　paused　at　the　lone　V。　Every　other　entry　had　a　first　and　last　name；　but　he’d　just　put　a　V　for　Vanessa　the　first　time　he’d　programmed　her　into　his　phone　and　never　bothered　to　change　it。　He’d　always　sort　of　loved　the　simplicity　of　it。　Why　would　he　ever　need　to　say　more　than　that？

Dan　gazed　at　her　number。　He　hadn’t　spoken　to　Vanessa　in　almost　two　years。　He’d　thought　that；　living　in　the　same；　geographically　small　city；　they　might　run　into　each　other。　But　then　again；　he　lived　way　uptown　and　rarely　left　the　neighborhood；　while　she　probably　spent　all　her　time　in　Brooklyn。　He’d　heard　she　was　still　dating　that　famous　indie　film　director。　She　probably　never　even　thought　about　Dan　anymore。　But　maybe　she　did。

WOULD　YOU　RATHER　EAT　MY　DAD’S　FONDUE　FOR　A　MONTH　OR　GO　SLEDDING　EVERY　DAY　FOR　A　YEAR？　he　wrote　quick