lways be; there are feelings which are life itself; and which may not end but with life。
I am in despair that my letter of the 19th should have displeased you。 I do not entirely recall the wording,but I know what very painful feeling had dictated it。 It was grief at not having a word from you。
I wrote you on leaving Malmaison; and how many times thereafter did I wish to write! But I felt the reasons for your silence; and I feared to seem importunate by writing。 Your letter has been a balm to me。 Be happy; be as happy as you deserve; it is my whole heart that speaks。 You have given me my share; too; of happiness; and a share very keenly felt; nothing else can have for me the value of a token of remembrance。
Adieu; my friend; I thank you as tenderly as I shall love you always。
Josephine
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贝多芬致“永恒的爱人”
这是一封独特的情书,贝多芬逝世后,人们在他的个人物品中发现了他写给“永恒的爱人”的情书,一共三封,贝多芬写好后从没有寄出它们,这些情书的收件人始终是一个谜。
我最亲爱的人儿啊,你正遭受着痛苦——我刚才听说邮件必须得一早发出。星期一或者星期四——邮件只能在这些时间从这里寄往K城。你正遭受着痛苦——啊!无论我在哪里,你都与我同在。为了生活,为了和你一起生活,我将安排好我们之间的事情,我过的是什么样的生活啊!!!像这样!!!像这样没有你的生活——被人类的福利驱使着东奔西走——我一点也不愿做这种工作,它不值得我去做。
人对于人的屈从——这些使我感到痛苦——当我将自己放在茫茫的宇宙中去认识自己和世人所谓的最伟大人物是什么的时候,我也同样会感到痛苦——然而——这些人中间的确蕴涵着神圣的意志。当我想到你可能要到周六才能收到我第一封信的时候,我不禁潸然泪下——你深深地爱着我,而我对你的爱更为深厚——请在我面前隐藏你的感情——晚安——我要去洗澡,该上床休息了。上帝啊!我们距离这么近,却又相隔那么远!我们的爱情不正像是一座天上宫殿吗?而且也会像天上的宫殿一样坚固!
7月6日星期一晚
Ludwig van Beethoven
To
Evening; Monday; July 6
You are suffering; my dearest creature—only now have I learned that letters must be posted very early in the morning。 Mondays; Thursdays—the only days on which the mail coach goes from here to K。 You are suffering—Ah! Wherever I am there you are also。 I shall arrange affairs between us so that I shall live and live with you; what a life!!!! thus!!!! thus without you—pursued by the goodness of mankind hither and thither—which I as little try to deserve as I deserve it。
Humility of man toward man—it pains me—and when I consider myself in connection with the universe; what am I and what is he whom we call the greatest—and yet—herein lies the divine in man。 I weep when I reflect that you will probably not receive the first intelligence from me until Saturday— much as you love me; I love you more—but do not ever conceal your thoughts from me—good night—as I am taking the baths I must go to bed。 Oh; God! so near so far! Is our love not truly a celestial edifice—firm as Heaven's vault。
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济慈致芬尼·勃劳恩(1)
约翰·济慈(1795—1821),英国诗人,出生于伦敦。父亲是马厩的雇工领班。济慈自幼喜爱文学,由于家境窘困,不满16岁就离校学医。1816年,他认识了李·亨特、雪莱等著名诗人,受到他们的影响,弃医从文,走上了诗歌创作的道路,并成为当时英国文坛上一颗光彩夺目的巨星。1818年,23岁的济慈认识了16岁的邻家少女勃劳恩。济慈深爱勃劳恩,但同时也发现自己得了肺病,健康状况愈来愈坏,因此两人无法成婚。济慈死后,勃劳恩与济慈的姐姐同住,12年后嫁给了一位银行家。
我最亲爱的姑娘:
今天早晨散步的时候,我手里虽然拿着一本书,但我心里像往常一样,想的全是你;我真希望自己能说得更动听一些。我日夜都经受着折磨。他们正在谈论我去意大利的事情。如果和你分开这么长时间,我的身体肯定康复不了;尽管我是如此全心全意地爱着你,但却没有办法让自己给你更多的信任。
我们曾经有过长期别离的经历,这带给我的痛苦简直难以形容。你母亲来的时候,我将巧妙而出其不意地向她询问你是否去过狄尔克太太家里,她为了让我放松下来,可能会说你没去。我真的是沮丧得要死了,看样子,我要得到解脱的话,也只有死这条路了。过去的事一直萦绕在我的脑子里,什么事?那些事对于一个老于世故的人来说算不了什么,但对于我来说却是非常可怕的。
我会尽自己所能摆脱这些困扰。你以前总是和布朗在一起嬉笑,如果你能体会到我万分之一的痛苦,就不会那样。布朗这个人或许并不
坏——但他没有意识到,他是拿了把刀子一刀一刀地剐我。直到现在,这些点点滴滴的往事仍然在我心头,想起来还是心有余悸。虽然他对我的帮助很大,对我情深意重,而且如果不是有他的接济,我现在差不多会一贫如洗。但是由于这件事,我永远不想再看见他,也不想和他说话,直到我们都变成老头子为止(如果我们有足够的寿命的话)。你们把我的心当成足球踢来踢去,我以后会铭记在心的,你一定会觉得我荒唐。我曾经听你这么说过:再等几年也不坏——你有的是乐趣,你的心也很狂野——你没有什么心事,不像我有那么多的心事,你为什么要这样呢?
你就是我全身心爱慕的人——如果屋里没有你的话,我就觉得那空气是污浊的。你对我却不是这样——不——你可以等待——你有成百上千种活动——就算没有我也会快活的。只要每天有社交活动,只要能消磨掉这一天的时间就行。
你将如何度过这个月呢?你将跟谁在一起嬉笑玩闹呢?你也许会觉得我问这些有粗野之嫌。你没有我这种感情——你不会明白什么是爱
情——也许将来有一天你会明白——但现在时机未到。
请你扪心自问,济慈在孤寂之中有多少时间给你带来过不快?就我自己而言,我每时每刻都在忍受折磨,我之所以要说这些,正是因为我实在不堪忍受这种痛苦了。
以你所信仰的那位基督的鲜血的名义,我恳求你:如果你这个月又做了什么让我伤心欲绝的事情,那么,就不要给我回信了。或许,你已经作出改变——如果没有的话——如果你还是跟以前在舞厅或其他社交场所的所作所为一样的话——我情愿立刻去死——如果你依然无动于衷,我真想今天晚上就面见死神。
假如没有你的话,我真的会活不下去,但仅仅有你还不够,我需要的是贞洁而贤惠的你。日复一日,年复一年,你放浪形骸,放纵着自己——我的心每天要忍受多少痛苦啊,你对此毫不知晓——请正视这件事情!爱情可不是一场玩笑——我再重复一遍,除非你的心能像冰雪那样晶莹,否则就不要给我来信。我宁愿没有了你而含恨离世,也不想——txt电子书分享平台
济慈致芬尼·勃劳恩(2)
永远忠于你的
约翰·济慈
星期三晨(1820年于堪铁许镇)
John Keats
To
Wednesday Moring。 (Kentish Town; 1820)
My dearest girl;
I have been a walk this morning with a book in my hand; but as usual I have been occupied with nothing but you; I wish I could say in an agreeable manner。 I am tormented day and night。 They talk of my going to Italy。 It's certain I shall never I recover if I am to be so long separate from you;yet with all this devotion to you I cannot persuade myself into any confidence of you。
Past experience connected with the fact of my long separation from you gives me agonies which are scarcely to be talked of。 When your mother es I shall be very sudden and expert in asking her whether you have been to Mrs。 Dilke's; for she might say no to make me easy。 I am literally worn to death; which seems my only recourse。 I cannot forget what has passed。 What? nothing with a man of the world; but to me dreadful。
I will get rid of this as much as possible。 When you were in the habit of flirting with Brown you would have left off; could your own heart have felt one half of one pang mine did。 Brown is a good sort of Man—he did not know he was doing me to death by inches。 I feel the effect of every one of those hours in my side now; and for that cause; though he has done me many services; though I know his love and friendship for me; though at this moment I should be without pence were it not for his assistance; I will never see or speak to him until we are both old men; if we are to be。 I will resent my heart having been made a football。 You will call this madness。 I have heard you say that it was not unpleasant to wait a few years—you have amusements—your mind is away—you have not brooded over one idea as I have; and how should you?
You are to me an object intensely desireable—the air I breathe in a room empty of you is unhealthy。 I am not the same to you—no—you can wait—you have a thousand activities—you can be happy without me。 Any party; any thing to fill up the day has been enough。
How have you passed this month? Who have you smiled with?All this may seem savage in me。 You do not feel as I do—you do not know what it is to love—one day you may—your time is not e。
Ask yourself how many unhappy hours Keats has caused you in Loneliness。 For myself I have been a Martyr the whole time; and for this reason I speak; the confession is forced from me by the torture。
I appeal to you by the blood of that Christ you believe in: Do not write to me if you have done anything this month which it would have pained me to have seen。 You may have altered— if you have not—if you still behave in dancing rooms and others societies as I have seen you—I do not want to live—if you have done so I wish this ing night may be my last。
I cannot live without you; and not only you but chaste you; virtuous you。 The Sun rises and sets; the day passes; and you follow the bent of your inclination to a certain extent—you have no conception of the quantity of miserable feeling that passes through me in a day。— Be serious! Love is not a plaything—and again do not write unless you can do it with a crystal conscience。 I would sooner die for want of you than—
Yours forever
J。 Keats
罗伯特·勃朗宁致伊丽莎白·芭蕾特(1)
罗伯特·勃朗宁(1812-1889),19世纪英国著名诗人。他一生写了大量戏剧和诗歌,代表作有《巴拉塞尔七》、《斯特拉福》、《比芭走过》等诗剧。他对英语诗歌形式最大的贡献就是“戏剧独白”这一体裁,这种诗是通过主人公的自白来表现戏剧场面以及人物的命运。女诗人伊丽莎白·芭蕾特于1844年出版第一本诗集,勃朗宁读后很欣赏,随即写了本篇书信,两人在通信中逐渐产生爱情,并最终成为世界文坛永远传诵的佳话,《葡萄牙人十四行诗集》就是他们爱情的结晶。后来,伊丽莎白·芭蕾特变成了世界文学史上著名的伊丽莎白·勃朗宁夫人。更使人激动的是,两人之间那坚定、执著、一往深情的爱,竟使瘫痪多年的伊丽莎白·芭蕾特奇迹般地站了起来。
亲爱的芭蕾特小姐:
我真的是从内心深处喜欢你的诗,亲爱的芭蕾特小姐——我现在绝不是在给你写一封随随便便的恭维信——它绝非为了敷衍,也绝非顺口夸耀你的才华,它的确是我心悦诚服的自然流露。
一个星期前的今天,我第一次读到你的诗篇,然后就一直在反复琢磨,能对你谈点什么感受,现在想起这件事,仍不免哑然失笑。当时,我心里感到一阵狂喜,想道:这次我要打破以前的旧习,不能像平时真正欣赏一首诗那样,只是单纯而被动地享受,而要清楚地说出自己欣赏的理由来——我也许会像一个忠实的同行应做的那样,试着挑