colonel……Colonel Hepburn： then there are my aunts： but my
real home； I suppose； is the army。〃
〃Do you like being on your own？〃
His clear； greenish…grey eyes rested on her a moment； and； as
he considered； he did not see her。
〃I suppose so；〃 he said。 〃You see my father……well； he
was never acclimatized here。 He wanted……I don't know what
he wanted……but it was a strain。 And my mother……I
always knew she was too good to me。 I could feel her being too
good to me……my mother！ Then I went away to school so early。
And I must say； the outside world was always more naturally a
home to me than the vicarage……I don't know why。〃
〃Do you feel like a bird blown out of its own latitude？〃 she
asked； using a phrase she had met。
〃No； no。 I find everything very much as I like it。〃
He seemed more and more to give her a sense of the vast
world； a sense of distances and large masses of humanity。 It
drew her as a scent draws a bee from afar。 But also it hurt
her。
It was summer； and she wore cotton frocks。 The third time he
saw her she had on a dress with fine blue…and…white stripes；
with a white collar； and a large white hat。 It suited her
golden； warm plexion。
〃I like you best in that dress；〃 he said； standing with his
head slightly on one side； and appreciating her in a perceiving；
critical fashion。
She was thrilled with a new life。 For the first time she was
in love with a vision of herself： she saw as it were a fine
little reflection of herself in his eyes。 And she must act up to
this： she must be beautiful。 Her thoughts turned swiftly to
clothes； her passion was to make a beautiful appearance。 Her
family looked on in amazement at the sudden transformation of
Ursula。 She became elegant； really elegant； in figured cotton
frocks she made for herself； and hats she bent to her fancy。 An
inspiration was upon her。
He sat with a sort of languor in her grandmother's rocking
chair； rocking slowly； languidly； backward and forward； as
Ursula talked to him。
〃You are not poor； are you？〃 she said。
〃Poor in money？ I have about a hundred and fifty a year of my
own……so I am poor or rich； as you like。 I am poor enough；
in fact。〃
〃But you will earn money？〃
〃I shall have my pay……I have my pay now。 I've got my
mission。 That is another hundred and fifty。〃
〃You will have more； though？〃
〃I shan't have more than 200 pounds a year for ten years to
e。 I shall always be poor； if I have to live on my pay。〃
〃Do you mind it？〃
〃Being poor？ Not now……not very much。 I may later。
People……the officers； are good to me。 Colonel Hepburn has a
sort of fancy for me……he is a rich man； I suppose。〃
A chill went over Ursula。 Was he going to sell himself in
some way？
〃Is Colonel Hepburn married？〃
〃Yes……with two daughters。〃
But she was too proud at once to care whether Colonel
Hepburn's daughter wanted to marry him or not。
There came a silence。 Gudrun entered； and Skrebensky still
rocked languidly on the chair。
〃You look very lazy；〃 said Gudrun。
〃I am lazy；〃 he answered。
〃You look really floppy；〃 she said。
〃I am floppy；〃 he answered。
〃Can't you stop？〃 asked Gudrun。
〃No……it's the perpetuum mobile。〃
〃You look as if you hadn't a bone in your body。〃
〃That's how I like to feel。〃
〃I don't admire your taste。〃
〃That's my misfortune。〃
And he rocked on。
Gudrun seated herself behind him； and as he rocked back； she
caught his hair between her finger and thumb； so that it tugged
him as he swung forward again。 He took no notice。 There was only
the sound of the rockers on the floor。 In silence； like a crab；
Gudrun caught a strand of his hair each time he rocked back。
Ursula flushed； and sat in some pain。 She saw the irritation
gathering on his brow。
At last he leapt up； suddenly； like a steel spring going off；
and stood on the hearthrug。
〃Damn it； why can't I rock？〃 he asked petulantly；
fiercely。
Ursula loved him for his sudden； steel…like start out of the
languor。 He stood on the hearthrug fuming； his eyes gleaming
with anger。
Gudrun laughed in her deep； mellow fashion。
〃Men don't rock themselves；〃 she said。
〃Girls don't pull men's hair；〃 he said。
Gudrun laughed again。
Ursula sat amused； but waiting。 And he knew Ursula was
waiting for him。 It roused his blood。 He had to go to her； to
follow her call。
Once he drove her to Derby in the dog…cart。 He belonged to
the horsey set of the sappers。 They had lunch in an inn； and
went through the market； pleased with everything。 He bought her
a copy of Wuthering Heights from a bookstall。 Then they found a
little fair in progress and she said：
〃My father used to take me in the swingboats。〃
〃Did you like it？〃 he asked。
〃Oh； it was fine；〃 she said。
〃Would you like to go now？〃
〃Love it；〃 she said； though she was afraid。 But the prospect
of doing an unusual； exciting thing was attractive to her。
He went straight to the stand； paid the money； and helped her
to mount。 He seemed to ignore everything but just what he was
doing。 Other people were mere objects of indifference to him。
She would have liked to hang back； but she was more ashamed to
retreat from him than to expose herself to the crowd or to dare
the swingboat。 His eyes laughed； and standing before her with
his sharp； sudden figure； he set the boat swinging。 She was not
afraid； she was thrilled。 His colour flushed； his eyes shone
with a roused light； and she looked up at him； her face like a
flower in the sun； so bright and attractive。 So they rushed
through the bright air； up at the sky as if flung from a
catapult； then falling terribly back。 She loved it。 The motion
seemed to fan their blood to fire； they laughed； feeling the
flames。
After the swingboats； they went on the roundabouts to calm
down； he twisting astride on his jerky wooden steed towards her；
and always seeming at his ease； enjoying himself。 A zest of
antagonism to the convention made him fully himself。 As they sat
on the whirling carousal； with the music grinding out； she was
aware of the people on the earth outside； and it seemed that he
and she were riding carelessly over the faces of the crowd；
riding for ever buoyantly； proudly； gallantly over the upturned
faces of the crowd； moving on a high level； spurning the mon
mass。
When they must descend and walk away； she was unhappy；
feeling like a giant suddenly cut down to ordinary level； at the
mercy of the mob。
They left the fair； to return for the dog…cart。 Passing the
large church； Ursula must look in。 But the whole interior was
filled with scaffolding； fallen stone and rubbish were heaped on
the floor； bits of plaster crunched underfoot； and the place
re…echoed to the calling of secular voices and to blows of the
hammer。
She had e to plunge in the utter gloom and peace for a
moment； bringing all her yearning； that had returned on her
uncontrolled after the reckless riding over the face of the
crowd； in the fair。 After pride； she wanted fort； solace； for
pride and scorn seemed to hurt her most of all。
And she found the immemorial gloom full of bits of falling
plaster； and dust of floating plaster； smelling of old lime；
having scaffolding and rubbish heaped about； dust cloths over
the altar。
〃Let us sit down a minute；〃 she said。
They sat unnoticed in the back pew； in the gloom； and she
watched the dirty； disorderly work of bricklayers and
plasterers。 Workmen in heavy boots walking grinding down the
aisles； calling out in a vulgar accent：
〃Hi； mate； has them corner mouldin's e？〃
There were shouts of coarse answer from the roof of the
church。 The place echoed desolate。
Skrebensky sat close to her。 Everything seemed wonderful； if
dreadful to her； the world tumbling into ruins； and she and he
clambering unhurt； lawless over the face of it all。 He sat close
to her； touching her； and she was aware of his influence upon
her。 But she was glad。 It excited her to feel the press of him
upon her； as if his being were urging her to something。
As they drove home； he sat near to her。 And when he swayed to
the cart； he swayed in a voluptuous； lingering way； against her；
lingering as he swung away to recover balance。 Without speaking；
he took her hand across； under the wrap； and with his unseeing
face lifted to the road； his soul intent； he began with his one
hand to unfasten the buttons of her glove； to push back her
glove from her hand； carefully laying bare her hand。 And the
close…working； instinctive subtlety of his fingers upon her hand
sent the young girl mad with voluptuous delight。 His hand was so
wonderful； intent as a living creature skilfully pushing and
manipulating in the dark underworld； removing her glove and
laying bare her palm； her fingers。 Then his hand closed over
hers； so firm； so close； as if the flesh knitted to one thing
his hand and hers。 Meanwhile his face watched the road and the
ears of the horse； he drove with steady attention through the
villages； and she sat beside him； rapt； glowing； blinded with a
new light。 Neither of them spoke。 In outward attention they were
entirely separate。 But between them was the pact of his flesh
with hers； in the hand…clasp。
Then； in a strange voice； affecting nonchalance and
superficiality he said to her：
〃Sitting in the church there reminded me of Ingram。〃
〃Who is Ingram？〃 she asked。
She also affected calm superficiality。 But she knew that
something forbidden was ing。
〃He is one of the other men with me down at Chatham……a
subaltern……but a year older than I am。〃
〃And why did the church remind you of him？〃
〃Well； he had a girl in Rochester； and they always sat in a
particular corner in the cathedral for their love…making。〃
〃How nice！〃 she cried； impulsively。
They misunderstood each other。
〃It had its disadvantages though。 The verger made a row about
it。〃
〃What a shame！ Why shouldn't they sit in a cathedral？〃
〃I suppose they all think it a profanity……except you and
Ingram and the girl。〃
〃I don't think it a profanity……I think it's right； to
make love in a cathedral。〃
She said this almost defiantly； in despite of her own
soul。
He was silent。
〃And was she nice？〃
〃Who？ Emily？ Yes； she was rather nice。 She was a milliner；
and she wou