《人生之钥》

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人生之钥- 第8部分


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sure of control。 We are able to decide for ourselves what we do with ourselves and our heritage。
  As long as we remember just how powerful we are。 Each move we make; each word spoken; each thought passing through our brain is enough to affect the world for better or; indeed; for worse。
  Today’s Western world sets great store by intelligence。 Of all human characteristics; it seems to be the one most coveted。 Everyone wants to be clever  –  only fools like to think themselves stupid。
  The official IQ tests that have been devised to measure mental ability in figures; focus on linguistic and mathematical skills。 They are supposed to be independent of culture and background; but they reflect the skills and talentsencouraged and developed in our schools。
  It makes you wonder if perhaps our modern syllabus isn’t far too limited。 It would be nice to see things like good sense and ethical awareness promoted to serve the mon good。
  Not to mention emotional intelligence: the ability to handle carefully; constructively; your own emotions as well as those of others。
  Imagine if everyone was taught to understand and master person…al motivations and instinctive urges; trained to build harmonious relations based on insight and consideration of others… So many conflicts would be avoided; teamwork and co…operation improved; better results achieved all round。
  But modern educators shy away from that which cannot be quantified。 It’s doubtful whether we shall ever see the study of human nature on a school syllabus。
  I read in the paper about a mother; whose son had been stabbed to death for the sake of his mobile phone。 She was setting up a found…ation in the victim’s name to help rehabilitate delinquent youths of the kind who had killed her son。
  Blaming his death; not so much on the perpetrators as on the social system that had produced them: a system failing badly in its obligation towards young people in desperate need of discipline; care and control; she hoped the work of the foundation would benefit not only the individuals targeted but anyone ever to e in their way。

Integration 混沌(3)
She finished by saying that her heart went out to those parents who had to live with the knowledge that their own flesh and blood were guilty of such an act。
  In the local shop I found the article under discussion。 “That mother must be a saint;” uttered one elderly customer。 “If that had been me; I’d have campaigned to see them hanged。”
  “The strength of her!” sighed a young woman。 “Isn’t it a wonder that she wasn’t broken altogether?”
  “Perhaps she came to the same conclusion as I did;” said the shop…keeper; herself a widow with seven children。 “That; considering the world we live in; death is not the worst thing that can happen to a person。”
  “One thing I can’t understand;” a politician once said to me; “is why one’s achievements are hardly ever in proportion to the time and energy spent on a project。 Ventures I give my heart and soul to e to nothing; whereas others; to which I pay only scant attention; fall neatly into place。”
  It reminded me of advice given many years ago by one of my teachers at drama school。 “Keep going to auditions;” she told the group of prospective actors。 “Send out your details; pester producers。 You may never get the parts you hope for; but in my experience; effort is always rewarded。 An offer will e your way –  though often from a direction you never anticipated。”
  Why is that so? I wondered then。 Now I say; why ever not? How could we possibly expect to gauge in advance other people’s reactions? It would be curious indeed if we could; since they have motives of their own; of which we know nothing。
  But as long as we reach out; put into the world what we have of talents and mitment; like bread upon the waters it will e back–  in one shape or another。
  The thing to do is to keep trying; unfazed by rejection or failure; on the assumption that efforts do pay off; even though not necessarily in the way we expected。
  Equality of opportunity is a fine ideal generally subscribed to。 Who wouldn’t agree that everyone should be given the same fair chance?
  But how can we call it fair? This principle; when applied; is the very anti…thesis of equality: a cruel weeding out of those unable to take advantage of the opportunities extended。
  It would be different if all contenders started at the same base line。 But ask any primary school teacher to identify those seven…year…old pupils they consider unlikely to be “of much use to society”。 Their predictions will be largely accurate。
  The little ones thus relegated to the bottom of the class will soon fall through the net and likely as not end up on the slag…heap of anti…social behaviour; crime and addiction:victims of a rigid value system that recognizes and rewards only certain narrowly defined assets。
  But everyone; each and every one of us; has some potential worth exploring; something of value to contribute。 There is a place and role for every person born; none more; or less; important than the other。
  We all have the ability to flourish as well as the right to excel;at our own level; on our own terms。
  A truly fair society is based; not on equal opportunities but on a system of equal values。
  。 最好的txt下载网

Gender 性别(1)
在我看来,没有所谓的女性的解放,解放要么存在于两个人之间,要不根本不存在。
  作为一种概念,这种想法一定是存在于那些天真的女孩子脑子里的,她们把自己的身体当作一种他人可以享用的资产来看待。
  与她们的母亲不同,她们的母亲往往经过了长久的对爱情的困惑后,将性视作一种羞耻和恐惧。现如今的女性都有种自由的精神,对自己的吸引力很有信心。她们自在地走进期待的世界中,试图品尝与男性之间平等的关系。
  但情况往往是,她所遇到的男性,并未把女性的这种行为同样解读为女性解放,而仅仅将其视作她是在免费奉献她自己。
  这种男人要么会利用她、伤她的心,要么可能在让女孩儿怀孕后,欺骗、遗弃、利用、虐待她。
  很多年后,女人在回首往事的时候,一定想知道到底是什么摧毁了自己?作为一个女人她做错了什么?她曾经的信心到哪里去了?
  那些运气好的少数女子,碰到的可能是与自己怀有同样想法的男人,不管他们之间是一时的纵情还是一生的承诺,他们都经历着最好的关系——平等和相互尊重,分享着快乐的体验和相互的欣赏。
  所以,所有那些热衷于解放的年轻女人啊,要小心选择你们的伴侣,哪怕只是为了一夜情。
  在维多利亚时代最优秀的一篇小说里,我读到了如下一句话:贫穷对我们下的最可怕的诅咒,是我们无法保护自己的女人。
  在以前的年代,有钱人家的女人是不能在没有陪护的情况下出门的。穷人家的女人则常常与孩子一样,是易受攻击、脆弱以及猎物的代名词。
  当我长大后,我母亲告诉我,年轻女孩儿独自在晚上出门或是远行而没有年长人的陪伴,这都是不体面的。
  我对这种试图控制年轻女子的旧传统很是鄙夷。我出生在20世纪的后半期,习惯取悦我自己,喜欢环游世界,在任何我愿意的时候到任何我想去的地方。
  我还记得自己在德国高速公路上行驶时那种激动的感觉,记得独自一人在清晨的巴黎拉丁区闲逛时的悠闲,记得在罗马欣赏巴洛克风格教堂时的沉醉。只有一次,在伦敦的Soho区,我迷路了。一个陌生人帮我叫了辆出租车,并告诉我一个人待在那儿是不安全的。
  我们曾在报纸上读到过关于女人失踪、被强奸或谋杀的报道,她们曾错误地以为自己是安全的。事实是,我们依旧是毫无防卫的脆弱的人。这并非是旧有的偏见在阻碍我们追求自由的道路,那些爱我们的人,也并非出于“不体面”的想法才要保护我们。
  我现在知道了,自己是多么幸运。有些女人则没那么幸运。因为对她们或其家人来说,危险变成了现实。
  自人类启蒙时期就有这样一句话:女人为爱而性,男人为性而爱。这让我想到了近代的风流浪子卡萨诺瓦,一个擅长在那些有魅力而成功的单身女性熟睡时走进她们屋子的男人。
  她们醒来时,却常会感觉安全、亲切和动情——多么可怕的折磨。最后,他总能哄她们上床,这一切竟没有任何暴力和强行的迹象。实际上,他的确是在尽力满足她们,有几个女人甚至还要求他回来。
  事情最终败露时,他被指控犯有无数次连环强奸罪。起诉者花了很大的工夫才让受害的人们指证他。她们都深感羞愧,不是因为被强奸,而是因为她们几乎没有反抗。
  辩护律师认为,所有的被害人都是自愿的,被告的罪行仅仅是闯入了别人的家。被告自己说,他从来没想伤害任何人。他只想帮助那些孤独的女人找到真爱的感觉。打开她们钢铁般的心的唯一方法就是在她们不设防时捕获芳心,有一天她们会感谢他缓解了自己冰冷自负的盔甲给她们带来的痛苦。
  但受害者的报告为审判起了决定性作用。他的行为明显地给这些女人留下了与最恶毒的暴力攻击同样的创伤。
  他被判处长期监禁。整个国家的女性都为之松了口气。
  那些自说嫁得好的女人常常是嫁得不怎么样的一群。我很同情那些在婚礼上接受祝福的新娘,人们都说她终于钓上了一个好男人。这似乎暗示:她占了什么便宜,得到了多于自己应得的东西,她的新郎似乎应该吸引更好的人。
  不管年龄、长相、财富或教育背景等这些世俗标准为何,也不管这世界如何衡量人类的价值,总之,这些祝福都清晰地传达着同一个讯息:她是幸运的,他却不是。
  这个女人的未来很难预料。她或许竭尽一生都在试图证明那些人是错的,向她丈夫的家人和朋友表明他没有选错人。
  这样的战役很难取胜,再多的努力、自我牺牲和公正都无法改变最初的事实,她无法获得最初即被否认的尊重。
  对她而言,即使是在自己家人面前,争取自己的权利也会变得非常困难。孩子们会很快察觉这种弱点然后利用它,直至最终毁掉她。想想你所知道的那些被宠坏的、骄纵而蛮横的孩子吧,他们不都是出自一个女人对自己在家庭中的地位不自信的家庭吗?书 包 网 txt小说上传分享

Gender 性别(2)
有意思的是,在很多这样女人陷落的陷阱中,男人似乎并不受其影响。
  因此我们可以说:女人在没有明确自己的全部价值前不应该结婚。
  我在电视上看到了一个关于斑马的节目。在斑马群里,雄性照顾着他的家庭,每个雄斑马都有他所负责的几个雌斑马和小斑马。
  雄斑马带领、保护着她们,寻找水以及新的栖息地,在遭遇危险时始终站在最前面。
  这很打动我。在不久以前,这也是我们社会中男性的角色。男人是权威的象征:引导者、带领者、奉献者,不论在家里还是其他地方都是如此。
  现在,随着女性的独立,家长制逐渐没落。反之,我们有了两个人来分担重任。这给女性带来了更多的满足,当然,我想有些男性也从中得到了满足。
  但是,那些羞涩的、缺乏安全感以及对自己男性特征不怎么自信的男人怎么办呢?那些没有社会支援的、没有成功的男人该怎么办呢?自信的女人们残酷地设定着挑选的标准,她们通常挑那些强健的、有能力而有抱负的男人。
  想想那无数个单身母亲吧,曾经也有一个男人是她们家庭的主心骨。可这些男人都跑到哪儿去了呢?是什么让他们逃开了?他们难道是同性恋、孤独而绝望的男人,还是有自杀倾向的男人?
  在人类进化的过程中,某些地方似乎缺失了,而由此,也生出了受害者。
  It seems to me there is no such thing as a sexually liberated woman。 Liberation exists between two people o

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