telling his own fortune……'to take care of herself。 I dare say she'll
manage to do it。'
'Probably；' said Fanny。
There was then a long silence； during which； Mrs Sparkler； lying back
on her sofa again； shut her eyes and raised her eyebrows in her former
retirement from mundane affairs。
'But； however；' said Mr Merdle； 'I am equally detaining you and myself。
I thought I'd give you a call； you know。'
'Charmed； I am sure；' said Fanny。
'So I am off；' added Mr Merdle； getting up。 'Could you lend me a
penknife？'
It was an odd thing； Fanny smilingly observed； for her who could seldom
prevail upon herself even to write a letter； to lend to a man of such
vast business as Mr Merdle。 'Isn't it？' Mr Merdle acquiesced； 'but
I want one； and I know you have got several little wedding keepsakes
about； with scissors and tweezers and such things in them。 You shall
have it back to…morrow。'
'Edmund；' said Mrs Sparkler； 'open （now； very carefully； I beg and
beseech； for you are so very awkward） the mother of pearl box on my
little table there； and give Mr Merdle the mother of pearl penknife。'
'Thank you；' said Mr Merdle； 'but if you have got one with a darker
handle； I think I should prefer one with a darker handle。'
'Tortoise…shell？'
'Thank you；' said Mr Merdle； 'yes。 I think I should prefer
tortoise…shell。'
Edmund accordingly received instructions to open the tortoise…shell box；
and give Mr Merdle the tortoise…shell knife。 On his doing so； his wife
said to the master…spirit graciously：
'I will forgive you； if you ink it。'
'I'll undertake not to ink it；' said Mr Merdle。
The illustrious visitor then put out his coat…cuff； and for a moment
entombed Mrs Sparkler's hand： wrist； bracelet； and all。 Where his own
hand had shrunk to； was not made manifest； but it was as remote from Mrs
Sparkler's sense of touch as if he had been a highly meritorious Chelsea
Veteran or Greenwich Pensioner。
Thoroughly convinced； as he went out of the room； that it was the
longest day that ever did e to an end at last； and that there never
was a woman； not wholly devoid of personal attractions； so worn out by
idiotic and lumpish people； Fanny passed into the balcony for a breath
of air。 Waters of vexation filled her eyes； and they had the effect of
making the famous Mr Merdle； in going down the street； appear to leap；
and waltz； and gyrate； as if he were possessed of several Devils。
CHAPTER 25。 The Chief Butler Resigns the Seals of Office
The dinner…party was at the great Physician's。 Bar was there； and in
full force。 Ferdinand Barnacle was there； and in his most engaging
state。 Few ways of life were hidden from Physician； and he was oftener
in its darkest places than even Bishop。 There were brilliant ladies
about London who perfectly doted on him； my dear； as the most charming
creature and the most delightful person； who would have been shocked to
find themselves so close to him if they could have known on what sights
those thoughtful eyes of his had rested within an hour or two； and near
to whose beds； and under what roofs； his posed figure had stood。 But
Physician was a posed man； who performed neither on his own trumpet；
nor on the trumpets of other people。 Many wonderful things did he see
and hear； and much irreconcilable moral contradiction did he pass his
life among； yet his equality of passion was no more disturbed than
the Divine Master's of all healing was。 He went； like the rain；
among the just and unjust； doing all the good he could； and neither
proclaiming it in the synagogues nor at the corner of streets。
As no man of large experience of humanity； however quietly carried
it may be； can fail to be invested with an interest peculiar to the
possession of such knowledge； Physician was an attractive man。 Even the
daintier gentlemen and ladies who had no idea of his secret； and
who would have been startled out of more wits than they had； by the
monstrous impropriety of his proposing to them 'e and see what I
see！' confessed his attraction。 Where he was； something real was。 And
half a grain of reality； like the smallest portion of some other scarce
natural productions； will flavour an enormous quantity of diluent。
It came to pass； therefore； that Physician's little dinners always
presented people in their least conventional lights。 The guests said to
themselves； whether they were conscious of it or no； 'Here is a man who
really has an acquaintance with us as we are； who is admitted to some
of us every day with our wigs and paint off； who hears the wanderings of
our minds； and sees the undisguised expression of our faces； when both
are past our control； we may as well make an approach to reality with
him； for the man has got the better of us and is too strong for us。'
Therefore； Physician's guests came out so surprisingly at his round
table that they were almost natural。
Bar's knowledge of that agglomeration of jurymen which is called
humanity was as sharp as a razor； yet a razor is not a generally
convenient instrument； and Physician's plain bright scalpel； though far
less keen； was adaptable to far wider purposes。 Bar knew all about the
gullibility and knavery of people； but Physician could have given him
a better insight into their tendernesses and affections； in one week of
his rounds； than Westminster Hall and all the circuits put together；
in threescore years and ten。 Bar always had a suspicion of this； and
perhaps was glad to encourage it （for； if the world were really a great
Law Court； one would think that the last day of Term could not too soon
arrive）； and so he liked and respected Physician quite as much as any
other kind of man did。
Mr Merdle's default left a Banquo's chair at the table； but； if he had
been there； he would have merely made the difference of Banquo in it；
and consequently he was no loss。 Bar； who picked up all sorts of odds
and ends about Westminster Hall； much as a raven would have done if he
had passed as much of his time there； had been picking up a great many
straws lately and tossing them about； to try which way the Merdle wind
blew。 He now had a little talk on the subject with Mrs Merdle herself；
sidling up to that lady； of course； with his double eye…glass and his
jury droop。
'A certain bird；' said Bar； and he looked as if it could have been no
other bird than a magpie； 'has been whispering among us lawyers lately；
that there is to be an addition to the titled personages of this realm。'
'Really？' said Mrs Merdle。
'Yes；' said Bar。 'Has not the bird been whispering in very different
ears from ours……in lovely ears？' He looked expressively at Mrs Merdle's
nearest ear…ring。
'Do you mean mine？' asked Mrs Merdle。
'When I say lovely；' said Bar； 'I always mean you。'
'You never mean anything； I think；' returned Mrs Merdle （not
displeased）。
'Oh； cruelly unjust！' said Bar。 'But； the bird。'
'I am the last person in the world to hear news；' observed Mrs Merdle；
carelessly arranging her stronghold。 'Who is it？'
'What an admirable witness you would make！' said Bar。 'No jury （unless
we could empanel one of blind men） could resist you； if you were ever so
bad a one； but you would be such a good one！'
'Why； you ridiculous man？' asked Mrs Merdle； laughing。
Bar waved his double eye…glass three or four times between himself and
the Bosom； as a rallying ansost insinuating
accents：
'What am I to call the most elegant； acplished and charming of women；
a few weeks； or it may be a few days； hence？'
'Didn't your bird tell you what to call her？' answered Mrs Merdle。 'Do
ask it to…morrow； and tell me the next time you see me what it says。'
This led to further passages of similar pleasantry between the two； but
Bar； with all his sharpness； got nothing out of them。 Physician； on the
other hand； taking Mrs Merdle down to her carriage and attending on her
as she put on her cloak； inquired into the symptoms with his usual calm
directness。
'May I ask；' he said； 'is this true about Merdle？'
'My dear doctor；' she returned； 'you ask me the very question that I was
half disposed to ask you。' 'To ask me！ Why me？'
'Upon my honour； I think Mr Merdle reposes greater confidence in you
than in any one。'
'On the contrary； he tells me absolutely nothing； even professionally。
You have heard the talk； of course？'
'Of course I have。 But you know what Mr Merdle is； you know how
taciturn and reserved he is。 I assure you I have no idea what foundation
for it there may be。 I should like it to be true； why should I deny that
to you？ You would know better； if I did！'
'Just so；' said Physician。
'But whether it is all true； or partly true； or entirely false； I am
wholly unable to say。 It is a most provoking situation； a most absurd
situation； but you know Mr Merdle； and are not surprised。'
Physician was not surprised； handed her into her carriage； and bade her
Good Night。 He stood for a moment at his own hall door； looking sedately
at the elegant equipage as it rattled away。 On his return up…stairs； the
rest of the guests soon dispersed； and he was left alone。 Being a great
reader of all kinds of literature （and never at all apologetic for that
weakness）； he sat down fortably to read。
The clock upon his study table pointed to a few minutes short of twelve；
when his attention was called to it by a ringing at the door bell。 A man
of plain habits； he had sent his servants to bed and must needs go down
to open the door。 He went down； and there found a man without hat or
coat； whose shirt sleeves were rolled up tight to his shoulders。 For a
moment； he thought the man had been fighting： the rather； as he was much
agitated and out of breath。 A second look； however； showed him that
the man was particularly clean； and not otherwise disposed as to his
dress than as it answered this description。
'I e from the warm…baths； sir； round in the neighbouring street。'
'And what is the matter at the warm…baths？'
'Would you please to e directly； sir。 We found that； lying on the
table。'
He put into the physician's hand a scrap of paper。 Physician looked at
it； and read his own name and address written in pencil； nothing more。
He looked closer at the writing； looked