alone； and being instantly put out again in his own hall； like a
rushlight； by the chief butler； went sighing to bed。
CHAPTER 34。 A Shoal of Barnacles
Mr Henry Gowan and the dog were established frequenters of the cottage；
and the day was fixed for the wedding。 There was to be a convocation of
Barnacles on the occasion； in order that that very high and very large
family might shed as much lustre on the marriage as so dim an event was
capable of receiving。
To have got the whole Barnacle family together would have been
impossible for two reasons。 Firstly； because no building could have held
all the members and connections of that illustrious house。 Secondly；
because wherever there was a square yard of ground in British occupation
under the sun or moon； with a public post upon it； sticking to that post
was a Barnacle。 No intrepid navigator could plant a flag…staff upon any
spot of earth； and take possession of it in the British name； but
to that spot of earth； so soon as the discovery was known； the
Circumlocution Office sent out a Barnacle and a despatch…box。 Thus the
Barnacles were all over the world； in every direction……despatch…boxing
the pass。
But； while the so…potent art of Prospero himself would have failed in
summoning the Barnacles from every speck of ocean and dry land on
which there was nothing （except mischief） to be done and anything to be
pocketed； it was perfectly feasible to assemble a good many Barnacles。
This Mrs Gowan applied herself to do； calling on Mr Meagles frequently
with new additions to the list； and holding conferences with that
gentleman when he was not engaged （as he generally was at this period）
in examining and paying the debts of his future son…in…law； in the
apartment of scales and scoops。
One marriage guest there was； in reference to whose presence Mr Meagles
felt a nearer interest and concern than in the attendance of the most
elevated Barnacle expected； though he was far from insensible of the
honour of having such pany。 This guest was Clennam。 But Clennam had
made a promise he held sacred； among the trees that summer night； and；
in the chivalry of his heart； regarded it as binding him to many implied
obligations。 In forgetfulness of himself； and delicate service to her on
all occasions； he was never to fail； to begin it； he answered Mr Meagles
cheerfully； 'I shall e； of course。'
His partner； Daniel Doyce； was something of a stumbling…block in Mr
Meagles's way； the worthy gentleman being not at all clear in his own
anxious mind but that the mingling of Daniel with official Barnacleism
might produce some explosive bination； even at a marriage breakfast。
The national offender； however； lightened him of his uneasiness by
ing down to Twickenham to represent that he begged； with the freedom
of an old friend； and as a favour to one； that he might not be invited。
'For；' said he； 'as my business with this set of gentlemen was to do a
public duty and a public service； and as their business with me was to
prevent it by wearing my soul out； I think we had better not eat and
drink together with a show of being of one mind。' Mr Meagles was much
amused by his friend's oddity； and patronised him with a more protecting
air of allowance than usual； when he rejoined： 'Well； well； Dan； you
shall have your own crotchety way。'
To Mr Henry Gowan； as the time approached； Clennam tried to convey
by all quiet and unpretending means； that he was frankly and
disinterestedly desirous of tendering him any friendship he would
accept。 Mr Gowan treated him in return with his usual ease； and with his
usual show of confidence； which was no confidence at all。
'You see； Clennam；' he happened to remark in the course of conversation
one day； when they were walking near the Cottage within a week of the
marriage； 'I am a disappointed man。 That you know already。'
'Upon my word；' said Clennam； a little embarrassed； 'I scarcely know
how。'
'Why；' returned Gowan； 'I belong to a clan； or a clique； or a family； or
a connection； or whatever you like to call it； that might have provided
for me in any one of fifty ways； and that took it into its head not to
do it at all。 So here I am； a poor devil of an artist。'
Clennam was beginning； 'But on the other hand……' when Gowan took him up。
'Yes； yes； I know。 I have the good fortune of being beloved by a
beautiful and charming girl whom I love with all my heart。' （'Is there
much of it？' Clennam thought。 And as he thought it； felt ashamed of
himself。）
'And of finding a father…in…law who is a capital fellow and a liberal
good old boy。 Still； I had other prospects washed and bed into my
childish head when it was washed and bed for me； and I took them to
a public school when I washed and bed it for myself； and I am here
without them； and thus I am a disappointed man。'
Clennam thought （and as he thought it； again felt ashamed of himself）；
was this notion of being disappointed in life； an assertion of station
which the bridegroom brought into the family as his property； having
already carried it detrimentally into his pursuit？ And was it a hopeful
or a promising thing anywhere？
'Not bitterly disappointed； I think；' he said aloud。 'Hang it； no； not
bitterly；' laughed Gowan。 'My people are not worth that……though they are
charming fellows； and I have the greatest affection for them。 Besides；
it's pleasant to show them that I can do without them； and that they may
all go to the Devil。 And besides； again； most men are disappointed in
life； somehow or other； and influenced by their disappointment。 But it's
a dear good world； and I love it！'
'It lies fair before you now；' said Arthur。
'Fair as this summer river；' cried the other； with enthusiasm； 'and by
Jove I glow with admiration of it； and with ardour to run a race in it。
It's the best of old worlds！ And my calling！ The best of old callings；
isn't it？'
'Full of interest and ambition； I conceive；' said Clennam。
'And imposition；' added Gowan； laughing； 'we won't leave out the
imposition。 I hope I may not break down in that； but there； my being
a disappointed man may show itself。 I may not be able to face it out
gravely enough。 Between you and me； I think there is some danger of my
being just enough soured not to be able to do that。'
'To do what？' asked Clennam。
'To keep it up。 To help myself in my turn； as the man before me helps
himself in his； and pass the bottle of smoke。 To keep up the pretence
as to labour； and study； and patience； and being devoted to my art； and
giving up many solitary days to it； and abandoning many pleasures for
it； and living in it； and all the rest of it……in short； to pass the
bottle of smoke according to rule。'
'But it is well for a man to respect his own vocation； whatever it is；
and to think himself bound to uphold it； and to claim for it the respect
it deserves； is it not？' Arthur reasoned。 'And your vocation； Gowan；
may really demand this suit and service。 I confess I should have thought
that all Art did。'
'What a good fellow you are； Clennam！' exclaimed the other； stopping
to look at him； as if with irrepressible admiration。 'What a capital
fellow！ You have never been disappointed。 That's easy to see。'
It would have been so cruel if he had meant it； that Clennam firmly
resolved to believe he did not mean it。 Gowan； without pausing； laid his
hand upon his shoulder； and laughingly and lightly went on：
'Clennam； I don't like to dispel your generous visions； and I would give
any money （if I had any）； to live in such a rose…coloured mist。 But what
I do in my trade； I do to sell。 What all we fellows do； we do to
sell。 If we didn't want to sell it for the most we can get for it； we
shouldn't do it。 Being work； it has to be done； but it's easily enough
done。 All the rest is hocus…pocus。
Now here's one of the advantages； or disadvantages； of knowing a
disappointed man。 You hear the truth。'
Whatever he had heard； and whether it deserved that name or another； it
sank into Clennam's mind。 It so took root there； that he began to fear
Henry Gowan would always be a trouble to him； and that so far he had
gained little or nothing from the dismissal of Nobody； with all his
inconsistencies； anxieties； and contradictions。 He found a contest still
always going on in his breast between his promise to keep Gowan in
none but good aspects before the mind of Mr Meagles； and his enforced
observation of Gowan in aspects that had no good in them。 Nor could he
quite support his own conscientious nature against misgivings that he
distorted and discoloured himself； by reminding himself that he never
sought those discoveries； and that he would have avoided them with
willingness and great relief。 For he never could forget what he had
been； and he knew that he had once disliked Gowan for no better reason
than that he had e in his way。
Harassed by these thoughts； he now began to wish the marriage over；
Gowan and his young wife gone； and himself left to fulfil his promise；
and discharge the generous function he had accepted。 This last week was；
in truth； an uneasy interval for the whole house。 Before Pet； or before
Gowan； Mr Meagles was radiant； but Clennam had more than once found him
alone； with his view of the scales and scoop much blurred； and had often
seen him look after the lovers； in the garden or elsewhere when he was
not seen by them； with the old clouded face on which Gowan had fallen
like a shadow。 In the arrangement of the house for the great occasion；
many little reminders of the old travels of the father and mother
and daughter had to be disturbed and passed from hand to hand； and
sometimes； in the midst of these mute witnesses； to the life they had
had together； even Pet herself would yield to lamenting and weeping。
Mrs Meagles； the blithest and busiest of mothers； went about singing
and cheering everybody； but she； honest soul； had her flights into store
rooms； where she would cry until her eyes were red； and would then
e out； attributing that appearance to pickled onions and pepper； and
singing clearer than ever。 Mrs Tickit； finding no balsam for a wounded
mind in Buchan's Domestic Medicine； suffered greatly from low spirits；
and from moving rec