rules and mere technical ideas。 I often lose patience ， when ， with
a glowing imagination ， I am giving expression to art and nature ， he
interferes with learned suggestions ， and uses at random the technical
phraseology of artists。
JULY 16。 Once more I am a wanderer， a pilgrim， through the world。
But what else are you ！
JULY 18。 Whither am I going ？ I will tell you in confidence。 I am
obliged to continue a fortnight longer here ， and then I think it would
be better for me to visit the mines in——。 But I am only deluding myself
thus。 The fact is ， I wish to be near Charlotte again， that is all。
I smile at the suggestions of my heart， and obey its dictates。
JULY 29。 No ， no ！ it is yet well all is well ！ I her husband！
O God ， who gave me being， if thou hadst destined this happiness for
me， my whole life would have been one continual thanksgiving ！ But I
will not murmur —— forgive these tears， forgive these fruitless wishes。
She —— my wife！ Oh ， the very thought of folding that dearest of Heaven's
creatures in my arms！ Dear Wilhelm ， my whole frame feels convulsed
when I see Albert put his arms around her slender waist ！
And shall I avow it ？ Why should I not ， Wilhelm？ She would have
been happier with me than with him。 Albert is not the man to satisfy the
wishes of such a heart。 He wants a certain sensibility； he wants ——
in short， their hearts do not beat in unison。 How often， my dear friend，
im reading a passage from some interesting book ， when my heart and Charlotte's
seemed to meet， and in a hundred other instances when our sentiments
were unfolded by the story of some fictitious character ， have I felt
that we were made for each other！ But， dear Wilhelm ， he loves her
with his whole soul ； and what does not such a love deserve？
I have been interrupted by an insufferable visit。 I have dried my
tears ， and posed my thoughts。 Adieu， my best friend ！
AUGUST 4。 I am not alone unfortunate。 All men are disappointed in
their hopes ， and deceived in their expectations。 I have paid a visit
to my good old woman under the lime…trees。 The eldest boy ran out to meet
me： his exclamation of joy brought out his mother， but she had a very
melancholy look。 Her first word was ， 〃Alas！ dear sir ， my little John
is dead。〃 He was the youngest of her children。 I was silent。 〃And my husband
has returned from Switzerland without any money ； and， if some kind
people had not assisted him ， he must have begged his way home。 He was
taken ill with fever on his journey。〃 I could answer nothing， but made
the little one a present。 She invited me to take some fruit ： I plied，
and left the place with a sorrowful heart。
AUGUST 21。 My sensations are constantly changing。 Sometimes a happy
prospect opens before me； but alas ！ it is only for a moment； and then，
when I am lost in reverie ， I cannot help saying to myself ， 〃If Albert
were to die ？—— Yes， she would bee —— and I should be〃 —— and
so I pursue a chimera ， till it leads me to the edge of a precipice at
which I shudder。
When I pass through the same gate ， and walk along the same road
which first conducted me to Charlotte ， my heart sinks within me at the
change that has since taken place。 All， all， is altered ！ No sentiment，
no pulsation of my heart， is the same。 My sensations are such as would
occur to some departed prince whose spirit should return to visit the
superb palace which he had built in happy times ， adorned with costly
magnificence， and left to a beloved son， but whose glory he should find
departed， and its halls deserted and in ruins。
SEPTEMBER 3。 I sometimes cannot understand how she can love another，
how she dares love another， when I love nothing in this world so pletely，
so devotedly， as I love her， when I know only her ， and have no other
possession。
SEPTEMBER 4。 It is even so！ As nature puts on her autumn tints it
bees autumn with me and around me。 My leaves are sere and yellow ，
and the neighbouring trees are divested of their foliage。 Do you remember
my writing to you about a peasant boy shortly after my arrival here ？
I have just made inquiries about him in Walheim。 They say he has been
dismissed from his service， and is now avoided by every one。 I met him
yesterday on the road ， going to a neighbouring village。 I spoke to him，
and he told me his story。 It interested me exceedingly， as you will easily
understand when I repeat it to you。 But why should I trouble you？ Why
should I not reserve all my sorrow for myself ？ Why should I continue
to give you occasion to pity and blame me ？ But no matter： this also
is part of my destiny。
At first the peasant lad answered my inquiries with a sort of subdued
melancholy， which seemed to me the mark of a timid disposition ； but，
as we grew to understand each other ， he spoke with less reserve ， and
openly confessed his faults ， and lamented his misfortune。 I wish， my
dear friend ， I could give proper expression to his language。 He told
me with a sort of pleasurable recollection， that ， after my departure，
his passion for his mistress increased daily， until at last he neither
knew what he did nor what he said ， nor what was to bee of him。 He
could neither eat nor drink nor sleep ： he felt a sense of suffocation
； he disobeyed all orders， and forgot all mands involuntarily； he
seemed as if pursued by an evil spirit， till one day ， knowing that
his mistress had gone to an upper chamber ， he had followed， or ， rather，
been drawn after her。 As she proved deaf to his entreaties， he had recourse
to violence。 He knows not what happened ； but he called God to witness
that his intentions to her were honourable， and that he desired nothing
more sincerely than that they should marry， and pass their lives together。
When he had e to this point， he began to hesitate ， as if there was
something which he had not courage to utter ， till at length he acknowledged
with some confusion certain little confidences she had encouraged ， and
liberties she had allowed。 He broke off two or three times in his narration，
and assured me most earnestly that he had no wish to make her bad ， as
he termed it， for he loved her still as sincerely as ever； that the
tale had never before escaped his lips， and was only now told to convince
me that he was not utterly lost and abandoned。 And here ， my dear friend，
I must mence the old song which you know I utter eternally。 If I could
only represent the man as he stood， and stands now before me ， could
I only give his true expressions， you would feel pelled to sympathise
in his fate。 But enough ： you， who know my misfortune and my disposition，
can easily prehend the attraction which draws me toward every unfortunate
being ， but particularly toward him whose story I have recounted。
On perusing this letter a second time ， I find I have omitted the
conclusion of my tale ； but it is easily supplied。 She became reserved
toward him， at the instigation of her brother who had long hated him ，
and desired his expulsion from the house， fearing that his sister's second
marriage might deprive his children of the handsome fortune they expected
from her； as she is childless。 He was dismissed at length； and the whole
affair occasioned so much scandal ， that the mistress dared not take
him back， even if she had wished it。 She has since hired another servant，
with whom ， they say ， her brother is equally displeased， and whom
she is likely to marry； but my informant assures me that he himself is
determined not to survive such a catastrophe。
This story is neither exaggerated nor embellished ： indeed ， I have
weakened and impaired it in the narration ， by the necessity of using
the more refined expressions of society。
This love ， then ， this constancy ， this passion ， is no poetical
fiction。 It is actual ， and dwells in its greatest purity amongst that
class of mankind whom we term rude， uneducated。 We are the educated，
not the perverted。 But read this story with attention ， I implore you。
I am tranquil to…day， for I have been employed upon this narration ：
you see by my writing that I am not so agitated as usual。 I read and re…read
this tale ， Wilhelm： it is the history of your friend ！ My fortune
has been and will be similar； and I am neither half so brave nor half
so determined as the poor wretch with whom I hesitate to pare myself。
SEPTEMBER 5。 Charlotte had written a letter to her husband in the
country ， where he was detained by business。 It menced， 〃My dearest
love， return as soon as possible ： I await you with a thousand raptures。〃
A friend who arrived， brought word ， that ， for certain reasons， he
could not return immediately。 Charlotte's letter was not forwarded， and
the same evening it fell into my hands。 I read it ， and smiled。 She asked
the reason。 〃What a heavenly treasure is imagination：〃 I exclaimed ；
〃I fancied for a moment that this was written to me。〃 She paused， and
seemed displeased。 I was silent。
SEPTEMBER 6。 It cost me much to part with the blue coat which I wore
the first time I danced with Charlotte。 But I could not possibly wear
it any longer。 But I have ordered a new one ， precisely similar， even
to the collar and sleeves ， as well as a new waistcoat and pantaloons。
But it does not produce the same effect upon me。 I know not how it
is， but I hope in time I shall like it better。
SEPTEMBER 12。 She has been absent for some days。 She went to meet
Albert。 To…day I visited her： she rose to receive me ， and I kissed
her hand most tenderly。
A canary at the moment flew from a mirror ， and settled upon her
shoulder。 〃Here is a new friend ，〃 she observed， while she made him
perch upon her hand ： 〃he is a present for the children。 What a dear
he is ！ Look at him！ When I feed him， he flutters with his wings ，
and pecks so nicely。 He kisses me ， too， only look！〃
She held the bird to her mouth； and he pressed her sweet lips with
so much fervour that he seemed to feel the excess of bliss