myself， and take part in the innocent pleasures which are not yet forbidden
to the peasantry， and enjoy myself ， for instance ， with genuine freedom
and sincerity ， round a well…covered table ， or arrange an excursion
or a dance opportunely， and so forth ， all this produces a good effect
upon my disposition ； only I must forget that there lie dormant within
me so many other qualities which moulder uselessly， and which I am obliged
to keep carefully concealed。 Ah ！ this thought affects my spirits fearfully。
And yet to be misunderstood is the fate of the like of us。
Alas， that the friend of my youth is gone！ Alas ， that I ever knew
her ！ I might say to myself， 〃You are a dreamer to seek what is not
to be found here below。〃 But she has been mine。 I have possessed that
heart ， that noble soul， in whose presence I seemed to be more than
I really was， because I was all that I could be。 Good heavens！ did then
a single power of my soul remain unexercised？ In her presence could I
not display ， to its full extent ， that mysterious feeling with which
my heart embraces nature？ Was not our intercourse a perpetual web of
the finest emotions ， of the keenest wit ， the varieties of which ，
even in their very eccentricity ， bore the stamp of genius ？ Alas ！
the few years by which she was my senior brought her to the grave before
me。 Never can I forget her firm mind or her heavenly patience。
A few days ago I met a certain young V——， a frank， open fellow，
with a most pleasing countenance。 He has just left the university ， does
not deem himself overwise ， but believes he knows more than other people。
He has worked hard， as I can perceive from many circumstances， and，
in short， possesses a large stock of information。 When he heard that
I am drawing a good deal， and that I know Greek（two wonderful things
for this part of the country）， he came to see me， and displayed his
whole store of learning ， from Batteaux to Wood， from De Piles to Winkelmann
： he assured me he had read through the first part of Sultzer's theory，
and also possessed a manuscript of Heyne's work on the study of the antique。
I allowed it all to pass。 I have bee acquainted， also ， with a very
worthy person ， the district judge ， a frank and open…hearted man。 I
am told it is a most delightful thing to see him in the midst of his children，
of whom he has nine。 His eldest daughter especially is highly spoken of。
He has invited me to go and see him ， and I intend to do so on the first
opportunity。 He lives at one of the royal hunting…lodges， which can be
reached from here in an hour and a half by walking， and which he obtained
leave to inhabit after the loss of his wife ， as it is so painful to
him to reside in town and at the court。
There have also e in my way a few other originals of a questionable
sort， who are in all respects undesirable， and most intolerable in their
demonstration of friendship。 Good…bye。 This letter will please you： it
is quite historical。
MAY 22。 That the life of man is but a dream ， many a man has surmised
heretofore； and I， too， am everywhere pursued by this feeling。 When
I consider the narrow limits within which our active and inquiring faculties
are confined； when I see how all our energies are wasted in providing
for mere necessities， which again have no further end than to prolong
a wretched existence； and then that all our satisfaction concerning certain
subjects of investigation ends in nothing better than a passive resignation，
whilst we amuse ourselves painting our prison…walls with bright figures
and brilliant landscapes，—— when I consider all this ， Wilhelm， I
am silent。 I examine my own being ， and find there a world ， but a world
rather of imagination and dim desires ， than of distinctness and living
power。 Then everything swims before my senses ， and I smile and dream
while pursuing my way through the world。
All learned professors and doctors are agreed that children do not
prehend the cause of their desires ； but that the grown…up should
wander about this earth like children ， without knowing whence they e，
or whither they go， influenced as little by fixed motives， but guided
like them by biscuits ， sugar…plums， and the rod，—— this is what
nobody is willing to acknowledge； and yet I think it is palpable。
I know what you will say in reply ； for I am ready to admit that
they are happiest ， who， like children， amuse themselves with their
playthings， dress and undress their dolls， and attentively watch the
cupboard， where mamma has locked up her sweet things ， and， when at
last they get a delicious morsel， eat it greedily， and exclaim， 〃More！
〃 These are certainly happy beings； but others also are objects of envy，
who dignify their paltry employments， and sometimes even their passions，
with pompous titles ， representing them to mankind as gigantic achievements
performed for their welfare and glory。 But the man who humbly acknowledges
the vanity of all this， who observes with what pleasure the thriving
citizen converts his little garden into a paradise， and how patiently
even the poor man pursues his weary way under his burden， and how all
wish equally to behold the light of the sun a little longer ，—— yes，
such a man is at peace， and creates his own world within himself ； and
he is also happy， because he is a man。 And then， however limited his
sphere， he still preserves in his bosom the sweet feeling of liberty ，
and knows that he can quit his prison whenever he likes。
MAY 26。 You know of old my ways of settling anywhere， of selecting
a little cottage in some cosy spot， and of putting up in it with every
inconvenience。 Here ， too， I have discovered such a snug， fortable
place ， which possesses peculiar charms for me。
About a league from the town is a place called Walheim。 （The reader
need not take the trouble to look for the place thus designated。 We have
found it necessary to change the names given in the original。 ） It is
delightfully situated on the side of a hill ； and， by proceeding along
one of the footpaths which lead out of the village， you can have a view
of the whole valley。 A good old woman lives there ， who keeps a small
inn。 She sells wine ， beer ， and coffee ， and is cheerful and pleasant
notwithstanding her age。 The chief charm of this spot consists in two
linden…trees， spreading their enormous branches over the little green
before the church ， which is entirely surrounded by peasants' cottages，
barns ， and homesteads。 I have seldom seen a place so retired and peaceable
； and there often have my table and chair brought out from the little
inn ， and drink my coffee there， and read my Homer。 Accident brought
me to the spot one fine afternoon ， and I found it perfectly deserted。
Everybody was in the fields except a little boy about four years of age，
who was sitting on the ground ， and held between his knees a child about
six months old： he pressed it to his bosom with both arms， which thus
formed a sort of arm…chair； and， notwithstanding the liveliness which
sparkled in its black eyes， it remained perfectly still。 The sight charmed
me。 I sat down upon a plough opposite ， and sketched with great delight
this little picture of brotherly tenderness。 I added the neighbouring
hedge ， the barn…door， and some broken cart…wheels， just as they happened
to lie； and I found in about an hour that I had made a very correct and
interesting drawing ， without putting in the slightest thing of my own。
This confirmed me in my resolution of adhering， for the future ， entirely
to nature。 She alone is inexhaustible ， and capable of forming the greatest
masters。 Much may be alleged in favour of rules ， as much may be likewise
advanced in favour of the laws of society ： an artist formed upon them
will never produce anything absolutely bad or disgusting； as a man who
observes the laws ， and obeys decorum， can never be an absolutely intolerable
neighbour ， nor a decided villain： but yet， say what you will of rules，
they destroy the genuine feeling of nature， as well as its true expression。
Do not tell me 〃that this is too hard ， that they only restrain and prune
superfluous branches， etc。〃 My good friend ， I will illustrate this
by an analogy。 These things resemble love。 A warmhearted youth bees
strongly attached to a maiden ： he spends every hour of the day in her
pany ， wears out his health ， and lavishes his fortune ， to afford
continual proof that he is wholly devoted to her。 Then es a man of
the world ， a man of place and respectability， and addresses him thus
： 〃My good young friend， love is natural； but you must love within
bounds。 Divide your time： devote a portion to business ， and give the
hours of recreation to your mistress。 Calculate your fortune； and out
of the superfluity you may make her a present ， only not too often ，
—— on her birthday， and such occasions。〃 Pursuing this advice， he
may bee a useful member of society ， and I should advise every prince
to give him an appointment； but it is all up with his love ， and with
his genius if he be an artist。 O my friend！ why is it that the torrent
of genius so seldom bursts forth， so seldom rolls in full…flowing stream，
overwhelming your astounded soul？ Because， on either side of this stream，
cold and respectable persons have taken up their abodes ， and， forsooth，
their summer…houses and tulip…beds would suffer from the torrent； wherefore
they dig trenches ， and raise embankments betimes， in order to avert
the impending danger。
MAY 27。 I find I have fallen into raptures， declamation， and similes，
and have forgotten， in consequence ， to tell you what became of the
children。 Absorbed in my artistic contemplations， which I briefly described
in my letter of yesterday ， I continued sitting on the plough for two
hours。 Toward evening a young woman ， with a basket on her arm ， came
running toward the children ， who had not moved all that time。 She exclaimed
from a distance ， 〃You are a good boy， Philip ！〃 She gave me