obeyed silently。
〃Now we drive until the pavement ends。〃
I could hear a smile in his voice； but I was too afraid of driving off
the road and proving him right to look over and be sure。
〃And what's there； at the pavement's end？〃 I wondered。
〃A trail。〃
〃We're hiking？〃 Thank goodness I'd worn tennis shoes。
〃Is that a problem？〃 He sounded as if he'd expected as much。
〃No。〃 I tried to make the lie sound confident。 But if he thought my truck
was slow…
〃Don't worry； it's only five miles or so； and we're in no hurry。〃
Five miles。 I didn't answer； so that he wouldn't hear my voice crack in
panic。 Five miles of treacherous roots and loose stones； trying to twist
my ankles or otherwise incapacitate me。 This was going to be humiliating。
We drove in silence for a while as I contemplated the ing horror。
〃What are you thinking？〃 he asked impatiently after a few moments。
I lied again。 〃Just wondering where we're going。〃
〃It's a place I like to go when the weather is nice。〃 We both glanced out
the windows at the thinning clouds after he spoke。
〃Charlie said it would be warm today。〃
〃And did you tell Charlie what you were up to？〃 he asked。
〃Nope。〃
〃But Jessica thinks we're going to Seattle together？〃 He seemed cheered
by the idea。
〃No； I told her you canceled on me — which is true。〃
〃No one knows you're with me？〃 Angrily； now。
〃That depends… I assume you told Alice？〃
〃That's very helpful； Bella；〃 he snapped。
I pretended I didn't hear that。
〃Are you so depressed by Forks that it's made you suicidal？〃 he demanded
when I ignored him。
〃You said it might cause trouble for you… us being together publicly；〃 I
reminded him。
〃So you're worried about the trouble it might cause me— if you don't e
home？〃 His voice was still angry； and bitingly sarcastic。
I nodded； keeping my eyes on the road。
He muttered something under his breath； speaking so quickly that I
couldn't understand。
We were silent for the rest of the drive。 I could feel the waves of
infuriated disapproval rolling off of him； and I could think of nothing
to say。
And then the road ended； constricting to a thin foot trail with a small
wooden marker。 I parked on the narrow shoulder and stepped out； afraid
because he was angry with me and I didn't have driving as an excuse not
to look at him。 It was warm now； warmer than it had been in Forks since
the day I'd arrived； almost muggy under the clouds。 I pulled off my
sweater and knotted it around my waist； glad that I'd worn the light；
sleeveless shirt — especially if I had five miles of hiking ahead of me。
I heard his door slam； and looked over to see that he'd removed his
sweater； too。 He was facing away from me； into the unbroken forest beside
my truck。
〃This way；〃 he said； glancing over his shoulder at me； eyes still
annoyed。 He started into the dark forest。
〃The trail？〃 Panic was clear in my voice as I hurried around the truck to
catch up to him。
〃I said there was a trail at the end of the road； not that we were taking
it。〃
〃No trail？〃 I asked desperately。
〃I won't let you get lost。〃 He turned then； with a mocking smile； and I
stifled a gasp。 His white shirt was sleeveless； and he wore it
unbuttoned； so that the smooth white skin of his throat flowed
uninterrupted over the marble contours of his chest； his perfect
musculature no longer merely hinted at behind concealing clothes。 He was
too perfect； I realized with a piercing stab of despair。 There was no way
this godlike creature could be meant for me。
He stared at me； bewildered by my tortured expression。
〃Do you want to go home？〃 he said quietly； a different pain than mine
saturating his voice。
〃No。〃 I walked forward till I was close beside him； anxious not to waste
one second of whatever time I might have with him。
〃What's wrong？〃 he asked； his voice gentle。
〃I'm not a good hiker；〃 I answered dully。 〃You'll have to be very
patient。〃
〃I can be patient — if I make a great effort。〃 He smiled； holding my
glance； trying to lift me out of my sudden； unexplained dejection。
I tried to smile back； but the smile was unconvincing。 He scrutinized my
face。
〃I'll take you home；〃 he promised。 I couldn't tell if the promise was
unconditional； or restricted to an immediate departure。 I knew he thought
it was fear that upset me； and I was grateful again that I was the one
person whose mind he couldn't hear。
〃If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown；
you'd better start leading the way；〃 I said acidly。 He frowned at me；
struggling to understand my tone and expression。
He gave up after a moment and led the way into the forest。
It wasn't as hard as I had feared。 The way was mostly flat； and he held
the damp ferns and webs of moss aside for me。 When his straight path took
us over fallen trees or boulders； he would help me； lifting me by the
elbow； and then releasing me instantly when I was clear。 His cold touch
on my skin never failed to make my heart thud erratically。 Twice； when
that happened； I caught a look on his face that made me sure he could
somehow hear it。
I tried to keep my eyes away from his perfection as much as possible； but
I slipped often。 Each time； his beauty pierced me through with sadness。
For the most part； we walked in silence。 Occasionally he would ask a
random question that he hadn't gotten to in the past two days of
interrogation。 He asked about my birthdays； my grade school teachers； my
childhood pets — and I had to admit that after killing three fish in a
row； I'd given up on the whole institution。 He laughed at that； louder
than I was used to — belllike echoes bouncing back to us from the empty
woods。
The hike took me most of the morning； but he never showed any sign of
impatience。 The forest spread out around us in a boundless labyrinth of
ancient trees； and I began to be nervous that we would never find our way
out again。 He was perfectly at ease； fortable in the green maze； never
seeming to feel any doubt about our direction。
After several hours； the light that filtered through the canopy
transformed； the murky olive tone shifting to a brighter jade。 The day
had turned sunny； just as he'd foretold。 For the first time since we'd
entered the woods； I felt a thrill of excitement — which quickly turned
to impatience。
〃Are we there yet？〃 I teased； pretending to scowl。
〃Nearly。〃 He smiled at the change in my mood。 〃Do you see the brightness
ahead？〃
I peered into the thick forest。 〃Um； should I？〃
He smirked。 〃Maybe it's a bit soon for your eyes。〃
〃Time to visit the optometrist；〃 I muttered。 His smirk grew more
pronounced。
But then； after another hundred yards； I could definitely see a
lightening in the trees ahead； a glow that was yellow instead of green。 I
picked up the pace； my eagerness growing with every step。 He let me lead
now； following noiselessly。
I reached the edge of the pool of light and stepped through the last
fringe of ferns into the loveliest place I had ever seen。 The meadow was
small； perfectly round； and filled with wildflowers — violet； yellow； and
soft white。 Somewhere nearby； I could hear the bubbling music of a
stream。 The sun was directly overhead； filling the circle with a haze of
buttery sunshine。 I walked slowly； awestruck； through the soft grass；
swaying flowers； and warm； gilded air。 I halfway turned； wanting to share
this with him； but he wasn't behind me where I thought he'd be。 I spun
around； searching for him with sudden alarm。 Finally I spotted him； still
under the dense shade of the canopy at the edge of the hollow； watching
me with cautious eyes。 Only then did I remember what the beauty of the
meadow had driven from my mind — the enigma of Edward and the sun； which
he'd promised to illustrate for me today。
I took a step back toward him； my eyes alight with curiosity。 His eyes
were wary； reluctant。 I smiled encouragingly and beckoned to him with my
hand； taking another step back to him。 He held up a hand in warning； and
I hesitated； rocking back onto my heels。
Edward seemed to take a deep breath； and then he stepped out into the
bright glow of the midday sun。
===========================================================================
13。 CONFESSIONS
Edward in the sunlight was shocking。 I couldn't get used to it； though
I'd been staring at him all afternoon。 His skin； white despite the faint
flush from yesterday's hunting trip； literally sparkled； like thousands
of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface。 He lay perfectly still in
the grass； his shirt open over his sculpted； incandescent chest； his
scintillating arms bare。 His glistening； pale lavender lids were shut；
though of course he didn't sleep。 A perfect statue； carved in some
unknown stone； smooth like marble； glittering like crystal。
Now and then； his lips would move； so fast it looked like they were
trembling。 But； when I asked； he told me he was singing to himself； it
was too low for me to hear。
I enjoyed the sun； too； though the air wasn't quite dry enough for my
taste。 I would have liked to lie back； as he did； and let the sun warm my
face。 But I stayed curled up； my chin resting on my knees； unwilling to
take my eyes off him。 The wind was gentle； it tangled my hair and ruffled
the grass that swayed around his motionless form。
The meadow； so spectacular to me at first； paled next to his magnificence。
Hesitantly； always afraid； even now； that he would disappear like a
mirage； too beautiful to be real… hesitantly； I reached out one finger
and stroked the back of his shimmering hand； where it lay within my
reach。 I marveled again at the perfect texture； satin smooth； cool as
stone。 When I looked up again； his eyes were open； watching me。
Butterscotch today； lighter； warmer after hunting。 His quick smile turned
up the corners of his flawless lips。
〃I don't scare you？〃 he asked playfully； but I could hear the real
curiosity in his soft voice。
〃No more than usual。〃
He smiled wider； his teeth