flared and I’d calmed down enough to realize that I was making a fool of myself。
“When we get enough control to quit 。 。 。 ；” Jacob said。 “When we stop phasing for a solid length of time；
we age again。 It’s not easy。” He shook his head； abruptly doubtful。 “It’s gonna take a really long time to learn
that kind of restraint； I think。 Even Sam’s not there yet。 ’Course it doesn’t help that there’s a huge coven of
vampires right down the road。 We can’t even think about quitting when the tribe needs protectors。 But you
shouldn’t get all bent out of shape about it； anyway； because I’m already older than you； physically at least。”
“What are you talking about？”
“Look at me； Bells。 Do I look sixteen？”
I glanced up and down his mammoth frame； trying to be unbiased。 “Not exactly； I guess。”
“Not at all。 Because we reach full growth inside of a few months when the werewolf gene gets triggered。
It’s one hell of a growth spurt。” He made a face。 “Physically； I’m probably twentyfive or something。 So
there’s no need for you to freak out about being too old for me for at least another seven years。”
Twentyfive or something。 The idea messed with my head。 But I remembered that growth spurt — I
remembered watching him shoot up and fill out right before my eyes。 I remembered how he would look
different from one day to the next。 。 。 。 I shook my head； feeling dizzy。
“So； did you want to hear about Sam； or did you want to scream at me some more for things that are out
of my control？”
I took a deep breath。 “Sorry。 Age is a touchy subject for me。 That hit a nerve。”
Jacob’s eyes tightened； and he looked as if he were trying to decide how to word something。
Since I didn’t want to talk about the truly touchy stuff — my plans for the future； or treaties that might be
broken by said plans； I prompted him。 “So once Sam understood what was going on； once he had Billy and
Harry and Mr。 Ateara； you said it wasn’t so hard anymore。 And； like you also said； there are the cool parts。 。
。 。” I hesitated briefly。 “Why does Sam hate them so much？ Why does he wish I would hate them？”
Jacob sighed。 “This is the really weird part。”
“I’m a pro at weird。”
“Yeah； I know。” He grinned before he continued。 “So； you’re right。 Sam knew what was going on； and
everything was almost okay。 In most ways； his life was back to； well； not normal。 But better。” Then Jacob’s
expression tightened； like something painful was ing。 “Sam couldn’t tell Leah。 We aren’t supposed to tell
anyone who doesn’t have to know。 And it wasn’t really safe for him to be around her — but he cheated； just
like I did with you。 Leah was furious that he wouldn’t tell her what was going on — where he’d been； where
he went at night； why he was always so exhausted — but they were working it out。 They were trying。 They
really loved each other。”
“Did she find out？ Is that what happened？”
He shook his head。 “No； that wasn’t the problem。 Her cousin； Emily Young； came down from the Makah
reservation to visit her one weekend。”
I gasped。 “Emily is Leah’s cousin？”
“Second cousins。 They’re close； though。 They were like sisters when they were kids。”
“That’s 。 。 。 horrible。 How could Sam 。 。 。 ？” I trailed off； shaking my head。
“Don’t judge him just yet。 Did anyone ever tell you 。 。 。 Have you ever heard of imprinting？”
“Imprinting？” I repeated the unfamiliar word。 “No。 What’s that mean？”
“It’s one of those bizarre things we have to deal with。 It doesn’t happen to everyone。 In fact； it’s the rare
exception； not the rule。 Sam had heard all the stories by then； the stories we all used to think were legends。
He’d heard of imprinting； but he never dreamed 。 。 。”
“What is it？” I prodded。
Jacob’s eyes strayed to the ocean。 “Sam did love Leah。 But when he saw Emily； that didn’t matter
anymore。 Sometimes 。 。 。 we don’t exactly know why 。 。 。 we find our mates that way。” His eyes flashed back
to me； his face reddening。 “I mean 。 。 。 our soul mates。”
“What way？ Love at first sight？” I snickered。
Jacob wasn’t smiling。 His dark eyes were critical of my reaction。 “It’s a little bit more powerful than that。
More absolute。”
“Sorry；” I muttered。 “You’re serious； aren’t you？”
“Yeah； I am。”
“Love at first sight？ But more powerful？” My voice still sounded dubious； and he could hear that。
“It’s not easy to explain。 It doesn’t matter； anyway。” He shrugged indifferently。 “You wanted to know
what happened to Sam to make him hate the vampires for changing him； to make him hate himself。 And that’s
what happened。 He broke Leah’s heart。 He went back on every promise he’d ever made her。 Every day he
has to see the accusation in her eyes； and know that she’s right。”
He stopped talking abruptly； as if he’d said something he hadn’t meant to。
“How did Emily deal with this？ If she was so close to Leah 。 。 。 ？” Sam and Emily were utterly right
together； two puzzle pieces； shaped for each other exactly。 Still 。 。 。 how had Emily gotten past the fact that
he’d belonged to someone else？ Her sister； almost。
“She was real angry； in the beginning。 But it’s hard to resist that level of mitment and adoration。”
Jacob sighed。 “And then； Sam could tell her everything。 There are no rules that can bind you when you find
your other half。 You know how she got hurt？”
“Yeah。” The story in Forks was that she was mauled by a bear； but I was in on the secret。
Werewolves are unstable； Edward had said。 The people near them get hurt。
“Well； weirdly enough； that was sort of how they resolved things。 Sam was so horrified； so sickened by
himself； so full of hate for what he’d done。 。 。 。 He would have thrown himself under a bus if it would have
made her feel better。 He might have anyway； just to escape what he’d done。 He was shattered。 。 。 。 Then；
somehow； she was the one forting him； and after that。 。 。 。”
Jacob didn’t finish his thought； and I sensed the story had gotten too personal to share。
“Poor Emily；” I whispered。 “Poor Sam。 Poor Leah。 。 。 。”
“Yeah； Leah got the worst end of the stick；” he agreed。 “She puts on a brave face。 She’s going to be a
bridesmaid。”
I gazed away； toward the jagged rocks that rose from the ocean like stubby brokenoff fingers on the
south rim of the harbor； while I tried to make sense of it all。 I could feel his eyes on my face； waiting for me to
say something。
“Did it happen to you？” I finally asked； still looking away。 “This loveatfirstsight thing？”
“No；” he answered briskly。 “Sam and Jared are the only ones。”
“Hmm；” I said； trying to sound only politely interested。 I was relieved； and I tried to explain my reaction to
myself。 I decided I was just glad he didn’t claim there was some mystical； wolfy connection between the two
of us。 Our relationship was confusing enough as it was。 I didn’t need any more of the supernatural than I
already had to deal with。
He was quiet； too； and the silence felt a little awkward。 My intuition told me that I didn’t want to hear
what he was thinking。
“How did that work out for Jared？” I asked to break the silence。
“No drama there。 It was just a girl he’d sat next to in school every day for a year and never looked at
twice。 And then； after he changed； he saw her again and never looked away。 Kim was thrilled。 She’d had a
huge crush on him。 She’d had his last name tacked on to the end of hers all over in her diary。” He laughed
mockingly。
I frowned。 “Did Jared tell you that？ He shouldn’t have。”
Jacob bit his lip。 “I guess I shouldn’t laugh。 It was funny； though。”
“Some soul mate。”
He sighed。 “Jared didn’t tell us anything on purpose。 I already told you this part； remember？”
“Oh； yeah。 You can hear each other’s thoughts； but only when you’re wolves； right？”
“Right。 Just like your bloodsucker。” He glowered。
“Edward；” I corrected。
“Sure； sure。 That’s how e I know so much about how Sam felt。 It’s not like he would have told us all
that if he’d had a choice。 Actually； that’s something we all hate。” The bitterness was abruptly harsh in his
voice。 “It’s awful。 No privacy； no secrets。 Everything you’re ashamed of； laid out for everyone to see。” He
shuddered。
“It sounds horrible；” I whispered。
“It is sometimes helpful when we need to coordinate；” he said grudgingly。 “Once in a blue moon； when
some bloodsucker crosses into our territory。 Laurent was fun。 And if the Cullens hadn’t gotten in our way last
Saturday 。 。 。 ugh！” he groaned。 “We could have had her！” His fists clenched into angry balls。
I flinched。 As much as I worried about Jasper or Emmett getting hurt； it was nothing like the panic I felt at
the idea of Jacob going up against Victoria。 Emmett and Jasper were the closest thing to indestructible I could
imagine。 Jacob was still warm； still paratively human。 Mortal。 I thought of Jacob facing Victoria； her
brilliant hair blowing around her oddly feline face 。 。 。 and shuddered。
Jacob looked up at me with a curious expression。 “But isn’t it like that for you all the time？ Having him in
your head？”
“Oh； no。 Edward’s never in my head。 He only wishes。”
Jacob’s expression became confused。
“He can’t hear me；” I explained； my voice a tiny bit smug from old habit。 “I’m the only one like that； for
him。 We don’t know why he can’t。”
“Weird；” Jacob said。
“Yeah。” The smugness faded。 “It probably means there’s something wrong with my brain；” I admitted。
“I already knew there was something wrong with your brain；” Jacob muttered。
“Thanks。”
The sun broke through the clouds suddenly； a surprise I hadn’t been expecting； and I had to narrow my
eyes against the glare off the water。 Everything changed color — the waves turned from gray to blue； the trees
from dull olive to brilliant jade； and the rainbowhued pebbles glittered like jewels。
We squinted for a moment； letting our eyes adjust。 There were no sounds besides the hollow roar of the
waves that echoed from every side of the sheltered harbor； the soft grinding of the stones against each other
under the water’s