I ask you to kiss me。”
“You’re in a bad mood today。”
“I wonder why?”
“Sometimes I think you like me better as a wolf。”
“Sometimes I do。 It probably has something to do with the way you can’t talk。”
He pursed his broad lips thoughtfully。 “No; I don’t think that’s it。 I think it’s easier for you to be near me
when I’m not human; because you don’t have to pretend that you’re not attracted to me。”
My mouth fell open with a little popping sound。 I snapped it shut at once; grinding my teeth together。
He heard that。 His lips pulled tightly across his face in a triumphant smile。
I took a slow breath before I spoke。 “No。 I’m pretty sure it’s because you can’t talk。”
He sighed。 “Do you ever get tired of lying to yourself? You have to know how aware you are of me。
Physically; I mean。”
“How could anyone not be aware of you physically; Jacob?” I demanded。 “You’re an enormous monster
who refuses to respect anyone else’s personal space。”
“I make you nervous。 But only when I’m human。 When I’m a wolf; you’re more fortable around me。”
“Nervousness and irritation are not the same thing。”
He stared at me for a minute; slowing to a walk; the amusement draining from his face。 His eyes narrowed;
turned black in the shadow of his brows。 His breathing; so regular as he ran; started to accelerate。 Slowly; he
leaned his face closer to mine。
I stared him down; knowing exactly what he was trying to do。
“It’s your face;” I reminded him。
He laughed loudly and started jogging again。 “I don’t really want to fight with your vampire tonight — I
mean; any other night; sure。 But we both have a job to do tomorrow; and I wouldn’t want to leave the Cullens
one short。”
The sudden; unexpected swell of shame distorted my expression。
“I know; I know;” he responded; not understanding。 “You think he could take me。”
I couldn’t speak。 I was leaving them one short。 What if someone got hurt because I was so weak? But
what if I was brave and Edward 。 。 。 I couldn’t even think it。
“What’s the matter with you; Bella?” The joking bravado vanished from his face; revealing my Jacob
underneath; like pulling a mask away。 “If something I said upset you; you know I was only kidding。 I didn’t
mean anything — hey; are you okay? Don’t cry; Bella;” he pled。
I tried to pull myself together。 “I’m not going to cry。”
“What did I say?”
“It’s nothing you said。 It’s just; well; it’s me。 I did something 。 。 。 bad。”
He stared at me; his eyes wide with confusion。
“Edward isn’t going to fight tomorrow;” I whispered the explanation。 “I’m making him stay with me。 I am
a huge coward。”
He frowned。 “You think this isn’t going to work? That they’ll find you here? Do you know something I
don’t know?”
“No; no。 I’m not afraid of that。 I just 。 。 。 I can’t let him go。 If he didn’t e back 。 。 。” I shuddered;
closing my eyes to escape the thought。
Jacob was quiet。
I kept whispering; my eyes shut。 “If anyone gets hurt; it will always be my fault。 And even if no one does 。
。 。 I was horrible。 I had to be; to convince him to stay with me。 He won’t hold it against me; but I’ll always
know what I’m capable of。” I felt just a tiny bit better; getting this off my chest。 Even if I could only confess it
to Jacob。
He snorted。 My eyes opened slowly; and I was sad to see that the hard mask was back。
“I can’t believe he let you talk him out of going。 I wouldn’t miss this for anything。”
I sighed。 “I know。”
“That doesn’t mean anything; though。” He was suddenly backtracking。 “That doesn’t mean that he loves
you more than I do。”
“But you wouldn’t stay with me; even if I begged。”
He pursed his lips for a moment; and I wondered if he would try to deny it。 We both knew the truth。
“That’s only because I know you better;” he said at last。 “Everything’s going to go without a hitch。 Even if
you’d asked and I’d said no; you wouldn’t be mad at me afterwards。”
“If everything does go without a hitch; you’re probably right。 I wouldn’t be mad。 But the whole time
you’re gone; I’ll be sick with worry; Jake。 Crazy with it。”
“Why?” he asked gruffly。 “Why does it matter to you if something happens to me?”
“Don’t say that。 You know how much you mean to me。 I’m sorry it’s not in the way you want; but that’s
just how it is。 You’re my best friend。 At least; you used to be。 And still sometimes are 。 。 。 when you let your
guard down。”
He smiled the old smile that I loved。 “I’m always that;” he promised。 “Even when I don’t 。 。 。 behave as
well as I should。 Underneath; I’m always in here。”
“I know。 Why else would I put up with all of your crap?”
He laughed with me; and then his eyes were sad。 “When are you finally going to figure out that you’re in
love with me; too?”
“Leave it to you to ruin the moment。”
“I’m not saying you don’t love him。 I’m not stupid。 But it’s possible to love more than one person at a
time; Bella。 I’ve seen it in action。”
“I’m not some freaky werewolf; Jacob。”
He wrinkled his nose; and I was about to apologize for that last jab; but he changed the subject。
“We’re not far now; I can smell him。”
I sighed in relief。
He misinterpreted my meaning。 “I’d happily slow down; Bella; but you’re going to want to be under
shelter before that hits。”
We both looked up at the sky。
A solid wall of purpleblack cloud was racing in from the west; blackening the forest beneath it as it came。
“Wow;” I muttered。 “You’d better hurry; Jake。 You’ll want to get home before it gets here。”
“I’m not going home。”
I glared at him; exasperated。 “You’re not camping with us。”
“Not technically — as in; sharing your tent or anything。 I prefer the storm to the smell。 But I’m sure your
bloodsucker will want to keep in touch with the pack for coordination purposes; and so I will graciously
provide that service。”
“I thought that was Seth’s job。”
“He’ll take over tomorrow; during the fight。”
The reminder silenced me for a second。 I stared at him; worry springing up again with sudden fierceness。
“I don’t suppose there’s any way you’d just stay since you’re already here?” I suggested。 “If I did beg?
Or trade back the lifetime of servitude or something?”
“Tempting; but no。 Then again; the begging might be interesting to see。 You can give it a go if you like。”
“There’s really nothing; nothing at all I can say?”
“Nope。 Not unless you can promise me a better fight。 Anyway; Sam’s calling the shots; not me。”
That reminded me。
“Edward told me something the other day 。 。 。 about you。”
He bristled。 “It’s probably a lie。”
“Oh; really? You aren’t second in mand of the pack; then?”
He blinked; his face going blank with surprise。 “Oh。 That。”
“How e you never told me that?”
“Why would I? It’s no big thing。”
“I don’t know。 Why not? It’s interesting。 So; how does that work? How did Sam end up as the Alpha;
and you as the 。 。 。 the Beta?”
Jacob chuckled at my invented term。 “Sam was the first; the oldest。 It made sense for him to take charge。”
I frowned。 “But shouldn’t Jared or Paul be second; then? They were the next to change。”
“Well 。 。 。 it’s hard to explain;” Jacob said evasively。
“Try。”
He sighed。 “It’s more about the lineage; you know? Sort of oldfashioned。 Why should it matter who your
grandpa was; right?”
I remembered something Jacob had told me a long time ago; before either of us had known anything about
werewolves。
“Didn’t you say that Ephraim Black was the last chief the Quileutes had?”
“Yeah; that’s right。 Because he was the Alpha。 Did you know that; technically; Sam’s the chief of the
whole tribe now?” He laughed。 “Crazy traditions。”
I thought about that for a second; trying to make all the pieces fit。 “But you also said that people listened
to your dad more than anyone else on the council; because he was Ephraim’s grandson?”
“What about it?”
“Well; if it’s about the lineage 。 。 。 shouldn’t you be the chief; then?”
Jacob didn’t answer me。 He stared into the darkening forest; as if he suddenly needed to concentrate on
where he was going。
“Jake?”
“No。 That’s Sam’s job。” He kept his eyes on our pathless course。
“Why? His greatgranddad was Levi Uley; right? Was Levi an Alpha; too?”
“There’s only one Alpha;” he answered automatically。
“So what was Levi?”
“Sort of a Beta; I guess。” He snorted at my term。 “Like me。”
“That doesn’t make sense。”
“It doesn’t matter。”
“I just want to understand。”
Jacob finally met my confused gaze; and then sighed。 “Yeah。 I was supposed to be the Alpha。”
My eyebrows pulled together。 “Sam didn’t want to step down?”
“Hardly。 I didn’t want to step up。”
“Why not?”
He frowned; unfortable with my questions。 Well; it was his turn to feel unfortable。
“I didn’t want any of it; Bella。 I didn’t want anything to change。 I didn’t want to be some legendary chief。 I
didn’t want to be part of a pack of werewolves; let alone their leader。 I wouldn’t take it when Sam offered。”
I thought about this for a long moment。 Jacob didn’t interrupt。 He stared into the forest again。
“But I thought you were happier。 That you were okay with this;” I finally whispered。
Jacob smiled down at me reassuringly。 “Yeah。 It’s really not so bad。 Exciting sometimes; like with this
thing tomorrow。 But at first it sort of felt like being drafted into a war you didn’t know existed。 There was no
choice; you know? And it was so final。” He shrugged。 “Anyway; I guess I’m glad now。 It has to be done; and
could I trust someone else to get it right? It’s better to make sure myself。”
I stared at him; feeling an unexpected kind of awe for my friend。 He was more of a grownup than I’d
ever given him credit for。 Like with Billy the other night at the bonfire; there was a majesty here that I’d never
suspected。
“Chief Jacob;” I whispered; smiling at the way the words sounded together。
He rolled his eyes。
Just then; the wind shook more fiercely through the trees around us; and it felt like it was blowi