2 new+moon新月- 第8部分

〃Yes；　I　am—but　please；　don't　do　anything　you　don't　want　to　do；〃　I　added；　piqued。　

He　laughed；　and　then　sighed。　〃Heaven　forbid　that　I　should　do　anything　I　don't　want　to　do；〃　he　said　in　a　
strangely　desperate　tone　as　he　put　his　hand　under　my　chin　and　pulled　my　face　up　to　his。　

The　kiss　began　much　the　same　as　usual—Edward　was　as　careful　as　ever；　and　my　heart　began　to　
overreact　like　it　always　did。　And　then　something　seemed　to　change。　Suddenly　his　lips　became　much　more　
urgent；　his　free　hand　twisted　into　my　hair　and　held　my　face　securely　to　his。　And；　though　my　hands　tangled　
in　his　hair；　too；　and　though　I　was　clearly　beginning　to　cross　his　cautious　lines；　for　once　he　didn't　stop　me。　
His　body　was　cold　through　the　thin　quilt；　but　I　crushed　myself　against　him　eagerly。　

When　he　stopped　it　was　abrupt；　he　pushed　me　away　with　gentle；　firm　hands。　

I　collapsed　back　onto　my　pillow；　gasping；　my　head　spinning。　Something　tugged　at　my　memory；　elusive；　
on　the　edges。　

〃Sorry；〃　he　said；　and　he　was　breathless；　too。　〃That　was　out　of　line。〃　

〃I　don't　mind；〃　I　panted。　

He　frowned　at　me　in　the　darkness。　〃Try　to　sleep。　Bella。〃　

〃No；　I　want　you　to　kiss　me　again。〃　

〃You're　overestimating　my　selfcontrol。〃　

〃Which　is　tempting　you　more；　my　blood　or　my　body？〃　I　challenged。　

〃It's　a　tie。〃　He　grinned　briefly　in　spite　of　himself；　and　then　was　serious　again。　〃Now。　why　don't　you　stop　
pushing　your　luck　and　go　to　sleep？〃　

〃Fine；〃　I　agreed；　snuggling　closer　to　him。　I　really　did　feel　exhausted。　It　had　been　a　long　day　in　so　many　
ways；　yet　I　felt　no　sense　of　relief　at　its　end。　Almost　as　if　something　worse　was　ing　tomorrow。　It　was　a　
silly　premonition—what　could　be　worse　than　today？'　Just　the　shock　catching　up　with　me；　no　doubt。　

Trying　to　be　sneaky　about　it；　I　pressed　my　injured　arm　against　his　shoulder；　so　his　cool　skin　would　sooth　
the　burning。　It　felt　better　at　once。　

I　was　halfway　asleep；　maybe　more；　when　I　realized　what　his　kiss　had　reminded　me　of：　last　spring；　when　
he'd　had　to　leave　me　to　throw　James　off　my　trail；　Edward　had　kissed　me　goodbye；　not　knowing　
when—or　if—we　would　see　each　other　again。　This　kiss　had　the　same　almost　painful　edge　for　some　
reason　I　couldn't　imagine。　I　shuddered　into　unconsciousness；　as　if　I　were　already　having　a　nightmare。　

3。　THE　END　




I　FELT　ABSOLUTELY　HIDEOUS　IN　THE　MORNING。　I　HADN'T　slept　well；　my　arm　burned　and　
my　head　ached。　It　didn't　help　my　outlook　that　Edward's　face　was　smooth　and　remote　as　he　kissed　my　
forehead　quickly　and　ducked　out　my　window。　I　was　afraid　of　the　time　I'd　spent　unconscious；　afraid　that　
he　might　have　been　thinking　about　right　and　wrong　again　while　he　watched　me　sleep。　The　anxiety　seemed　
to　ratchet　up　the　intensity　of　the　pounding　in　my　head。　

Edward　was　waiting　for　me　at　school；　as　usual；　but　his　face　was　still　wrong。　There　was　something　buried　
in　his　eyes　that　I　couldn't　be　sure　of—and　it　scared　me。　I　didn't　want　to　bring　up　last　night；　but　I　wasn't　
sure　if　avoiding　the　subject　would　be　worse。　

He　opened　my　door　for　me。　

〃How　do　you　feel？〃　

〃Perfect；〃　I　lied；　cringing　as　the　sound　of　the　slamming　door　echoed　in　my　head。　

We　walked　in　silence；　he　shortening　his　stride　to　match　mine。　There　were　so　many　questions　I　wanted　to　
ask；　but　most　of　those　questions　would　have　to　wait；　because　chey　were　for　Alice：　How　was　Jasper　this　
morning？　What　had　they　said　when　I　was　gone？　What　had　Rosalie　said？　And　most　importantly；　what　
could　she　see　happening　now　in　her　strange；　imperfect　visions　of　the　future？　Could　she　guess　what　
Edward　was　thinking；　why　he　was　so　gloomy？　Was　there　a　foundation　for　the　tenuous；　instinctive　fears　
that　I　couldn't　seem　to　shake？　

The　morning　passed　slowly。　I　was　impatient　to　see　Alice；　though　I　wouldn't　be　able　to　really　talk　to　her　
with　Edward　there。　Edward　remained　aloof。　Occasionally　he　would　ask　about　my　arm；　and　I　would　lie。　

Alice　usually　beat　us　to　lunch；　she　didn't　have　to　keep　pace　with　a　sloth　like　me。　But　she　wasn't　at　the　
table；　waiting　with　a　tray　of　food　she　wouldn't　eat。　

Edward　didn't　say　anything　about　her　absence。　I　wondered　to　myself　if　her　class　was　running　late—until　I　
saw　Conner　and　Ben；　who　were　in　her　fourth　hour　French　class。　

〃Where's　Alice？〃　I　asked　Edward　anxiously。　

He　looked　at　the　granola　bar　he　was　slowly　pulverizing　between　his　fingertips　while　he　answered。　〃She's　
with　Jasper。〃　

〃Is　he　okay？〃　

〃He's　gone　away　for　a　while。〃　

〃What？　Where？〃　

Edward　shrugged。　〃Nowhere　in　particular。〃　

〃And　Alice；　too；〃　I　said　with　quiet　desperation。　Of　course；　if　Jasper　needed　her；　she　would　go。　

〃Yes。　She'll　be　gone　for　a　while。　She　was　trying　to　convince　him　to　go　to　Denali。〃　

Denali　was　where　the　one　other　band　of　unique　vampires—good　ones　like　the　Cullens—lived。　Tanya　and　

her　family。　I'd　heard　of　them　now　and　again。　Edward　had　run　to　them　last　winter　when　my　arrival　had　
made　Forks　difficult　for　him。　Laurent；　the　most　civilized　member　of　James's　little　coven；　had　gone　there　
rather　than　siding　with　James　against　the　Cullens。　It　made　sense　for　Alice　to　encourage　Jasper　to　go　
there。　

I　swallowed；　trying　to　dislodge　the　sudden　lump　in　my　throat。　The　guilt　made　my　head　bow　and　my　
shoulders　slump。　I'd　run　them　out　of　their　home；　just　like　Rosalie　and　Emmett。　I　was　a　plague。　

〃Is　your　arm　bothering　you？〃　he　asked　solicitously。　

〃Who　cares　about　my　stupid　arm？〃　I　muttered　in　disgust。　

He　didn't　answer；　and　I　put　my　head　down　on　the　table。　

By　the　end　of　the　day；　the　silence　was　being　ridiculous。　I　didn't　want　to　be　the　one　to　break　it；　but　
apparently　that　was　my　only　choice　if　I　ever　wanted　him　to　talk　to　me　again。　

〃You'll　e　over　later　tonight？〃　I　asked　as　he　walked　me—silently—to　my　truck。　He　always　came　over。　

〃Later？〃　

It　pleased　me　that　he　seemed　surprised。　〃I　have　to　work。　I　had　to　trade　with　Mrs。　Newton　to　get　
yesterday　off。〃　

〃Oh；〃　he　murmured。　

〃So　you'll　e　over　when　I'm　home；　though；　right？〃　I　hated　that　I　felt　suddenly　unsure　about　this。　

〃If　you　want　me　to。〃　

〃I　always　want　you；〃　I　reminded　him；　with　perhaps　a　little　more　intensity　than　the　conversation　required。　

I　expected　he　would　laugh；　or　smile；　or　react　somehow　to　my　words。　

〃All　right；　then；〃　he　said　indifferently。　

He　kissed　my　forehead　again　before　he　shut　the　door　on　me。　Then　he　turned　his　back　and　loped　
gracefully　toward　his　car。　

I　was　able　to　drive　out　of　the　parking　lot　before　the　panic　really　hit；　but　I　was　hyperventilating　by　the　time　
I　got　to　Newton's。　

He　just　needed　time；　I　told　myself。　He　would　get　over　this。　Maybe　he　was　sad　because　his　family　was　
disappearing。　But　Alice　and　Jasper　would　e　back　soon；　and　Rosalie　and　Emmett；　too。　If　it　would　
help；　I　would　stay　away　from　the　big　white　house　on　the　river—I'd　never　set　foot　there　again。　That　didn't　
matter。　I'd　still　see　Alice　at　school。　She　would　have　to　e　back　for　school；　right？　And　she　was　at　my　
place　all　the　time　anyway。　She　wouldn't　want　to　hurt　Charlie's　feelings　by　staying　away。　

No　doubt　I　would　also　run　into　Carlisle　with　regularity—in　the　emergency　room。　

After　all；　what　had　happened　last　night　was　nothing。　Nothing　had　happened。　So　I　fell　down—that　was　
the　story　of　my　life。　pared　to　last　spring；　it　seemed　especially　unimportant。　James　had　left　me　broken　
and　nearly　dead　from　loss　of　blood—and　yet　Edward　had　handled　the　interminable　weeks　in　the　hospital　
much　better　than　this。　Was　it　because；　this　time；　it　wasn't　an　enemy　he'd　had　to　protect　me　from？　
Because　it　was　his　brother？　

Maybe　it　would　be　better　if　he　took　me　away；　rather　than　his　family　being　scattered。　I　grew　slightly　less　
depressed　as　I　considered　all　the　uninterrupted　alone　time。　If　he　could　just　last　through　the　school　year；　
Charlie　wouldn't　be　able　to　object。　We　could　go　away　to　college；　or　pretend　that's　what　we　were　doing；　
like　Rosalie　and　Emmett　this　year。　Surely　Edward　could　wait　a　year。　What　was　a　year　to　an　immortal？　It　
didn't　even　seem　like　that　much　to　me。　

I　was　able　to　talk　myself　into　enough　posure　to　handle　getting　out　of　the　truck　and　walking　to　the　
store。　Mike　Newton　had　beaten　me　here　today；　and　he　smiled　and　waved　when　I　came　in。　I　grabbed　my　
vest；　nodding　vaguely　in　his　direction。　I　was　still　imagining　pleasant　scenarios　that　consisted　of　me　running　
away　with　Edward　to　various　exotic　locales。　

Mike　interrupted　my　fantasy。　〃How　was　your　birthday？〃　

〃Ugh；〃　I　mumbled。　〃I'm　glad　it's　over。〃　

Mike　looked　at　me　from　the　corners　of　his　eyes　like　I　was　crazy。　

Work　dragged。　I　wanted　to　see　Edward　again；　praying　that　he　would　be　past　the　worst　of　this；　whatever　
it　was　exactly；　by　the　time　I　saw　him　again。　It's　nothing；　I　told　myself　over　and　over　again。　Everything　will　
go　back　to　normal。　

The　relief　I　felt　when　I　turned　onto　my　street　and　saw　Edward's　silver　car　parked　in　front　of　my　house　
was　an　overwhelming；　heady　thing。　And　it　bothered　me　deeply　that　it　should　be　that　way。　

I　hurried　through　the　front　door；　calling　out　before　I　was　pletely　inside。　

〃Dad？　Edward？〃　

As　I　spoke；　I　could　hear　the　distinctive　theme　music　from　ESPN's　SportsCenter　ing　from　the　living　
room。　

〃In　here；〃　Charlie　called。　

I　hung　my　raincoat　on　its　peg　and　hurried　around　the　corner。　

Edward　was　in　the　armchair；　my　father　on　the　sofa。　Both　had　their　eyes　trained　on　the　TV。　The　focus　was　
normal　for　my　father。　Not　so　much　for　Edward。　

〃Hi；〃　I　said　weakly。　

〃Hey；　Bella；〃　my　father　answered；　eyes　never　moving。　〃We　just　had　cold　pizza。　I　think　it's　still　on　the　
table。〃　

〃Okay。〃　

I　waited　in　the　doorway。　Finally；　Edward　looked　over　at　me　with　a　polite　smile。　〃I'll　be　right　behind　you；〃　
he　promised。　His　eyes　strayed　back　to　the　TV。　

I　stared　for　another　minute；　shocked。　Neither　one　seemed　to　notice。　I　could　feel　something；　panic　maybe；　
building　up　in　my　chest。　I　escaped　to　the　kitchen。　

The　pizza　held　no　interest　for　me。　I　sat　in　my　chair；　pulled　my　knees　up；　and　wrapped　my　arms　around　
them。　Something　was　very　wrong；　maybe　more　wrong　than　I'd　realized。　The　sounds　of　male　bonding　and　
banter　continued　from　the　TV　set。　

I　tried　to　get　control　of　myself；　to　reason　with　myself。　

Wh